"I see no use in written marriage contracts; they can’t be enforced...whereas if the partners want to make it work, no written instrument is necessary."

"It is hard to shake off any taboos a child is indoctrinated with in his earliest years. Even if he learns later that they are nonsense."

"I'll find a tutor — no, Laz, not a horizontal one. Don’t you ever think about anything else? (Come to think of it, dear, what else is worth thinking about? Money?)"

"That was encouraging; a person who can read and write and has a head for math can learn anything she needs to know."

"They did ask, sometimes, and accepted my decision without argument. But I could see that they did not always believe me. That pleased me; they were starting to think for themselves — didn’t matter if they were wrong."

"He shut up, realizing that grim old Mother Nature, red of tooth and claw, invariably punished damfools who tried to ignore Her or to repeal Her ordinances; he need not interfere."

"Every so often some idiot tries to abolish marriage. Such attempts work as well as repealing the law of gravity, making pi equal to three point zero, or moving mountains by prayer."

"I learned centuries back that there is no privacy in any society crowded enough to need IDs. A law guaranteeing privacy simply insures that bugs — microphones and lenses and so forth — are that much harder to spot."

"Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

"Oh, I have strong opinions, but a thousand reasoned opinions are never equal to one case of diving in and finding out. Galileo proved that and it may be the only certainty we have."

"History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion — i.e., none to speak of."

"Security people always spy on their bosses; they can’t help it, it’s a syndrome that goes with the job."

"There’s no virtue in being old, it just takes a long time."

"Age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. Its only advantage, so far as I have been able to see, is that it spans change. A young person sees the world as a still picture, immutable. An old person has had his nose rubbed in changes and more changes and still more changes so many times that he knows it is a moving picture, forever changing. He may not like it — probably doesn’t; I don’t — but he knows it’s so, and knowing it is the first step in coping with it."

"“Then you believe in an afterlife?” “Slow up! I don’t ‘believe’ in anything. I know certain things — little things, not the Nine Billion Names of God — from experience. But I have no beliefs. Belief gets in the way of learning."

"Lazarus expressed a rhetorical and physiologically improbable wish."

"The purpose of my government is never to do good, but simply to refrain from doing evil."

"He enjoyed it, for every hour in school was an hour sitting down doing nothing harder than reading. Before and after school he had to do chores on his family’s farm, which he hated, as they were what was known as “honest work” — meaning hard, dirty, inefficient, and ill-paid — and also involved getting up early, which he hated even worse."

"Do not ask why; it was no more subject to rational explanation than is any other branch of theology."

"A capsule description of most human “progress”: By the time you learn how, it’s too late."

"May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live."

"Whores perform the same function as priests, Ira, but far more thoroughly."

"‘Put not your faith in princes,’ Ira; since they don’t produce, they always steal."

"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion."

"A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future."

"All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly, which can — and must — be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and children first!" is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly — and no doubt will keep on trying."

"All men are created unequal."

"Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child."

"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."

"A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe."

"Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something."

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent — it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills."

"The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa."

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

"Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

"The shamans are forever yacking about their snake-oil "miracles." I prefer the Real McCoy — a pregnant woman."

"Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed."

"One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word."

"Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy."

"“She loved them,” said Minerva. “Yes, she did, dear, by the exact definition of love. Llita placed their welfare and happiness ahead of her own.”"

"If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for, but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires."

"“Oscar, when you get home, don’t expect too much of your feminine compatriots. You’re sure to be disappointed and the poor dears aren’t to blame. American women, having been conditioned out of their sex instincts, compensate by compulsive interest in rituals over the dead husk of sex...and each one is sure she knows ‘intuitively’ the right ritual for conjuring the corpse. She knows and nobody can tell her any different...especially a man unlucky enough to be in bed with her. So don’t try. You will either make her furious or crush her spirit. You’ll be attacking that most Sacred of Cows: the myth that women know all about sex, just from being women.” Rufo had frowned. “The typical American female is sure that she has genius as a couturière, as an interior decorator, as a gourmet cook, and, always, as a courtesan. Usually she is wrong on four counts. But don’t try to tell her so. ...But don’t misunderstand me; it evens out. The American male is convinced that he is a great warrior, a great statesman, and a great lover. Spot checks prove that he is as deluded as she is.”"

"Would you force me to buy a new rug? I never keep one I’ve killed a friend on; the stains make me gloomy."

"Scoundrels are predictable, but you’re a man of honor and that frightens me."

"You’re not a fool, you’re merely young."