"Young-and-Beautiful: For countless generations we have done things a certain way. We can't just do everything differently now because it "makes sense"."

"Candi: Some people need coffee to wake up...I need a sugar rush!"

"Forgath: Watch it, you hill giant's ass hair!"

"Benny: They sing well."

"Cale: Did I just go fwoosh?"

"Richard: The look on your face when a toddler rips out your heart and shows it to you? Priceless. For everything else, there's fwoosh."

"Richard: I'm adding Lord of the Dance to my titles."

"Richard: Rejoice. For very bad things are about to happen."

"Ray'd: I didn't expect to find you in the middle of a battle. Was the library closed?"

"Richard: It's time for me to stop all this adventuring. I need to settle down. Find a farm, a family. Then slaughter them all and find a new farm and family."

"Richard: Killing means never having to say you're sorry."

"Richard:Behold! I have discovered the fork of truth, who would dare oppose me now?"

"Archmage: The sun rises,"

"Richard: Instead of helping an aged dwarf woman across a road, you should be shooting her in the face with arrows until it stops being funny."

"Richard: I am Richard, Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the undead, and the mayor of a little village up the coast. Very scenic during spring time. You should visit sometime."

"Richard: Attack him. The winner gets to be my pet for all eternity...or until I find something with larger teeth. And a fork."

"Richard: Listen, like I told your captain, that orphanage attacked me."

"Cale: A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night."

"Cale: I asked you to scout ahead of the army, Richard."

"Richard: Your life isn't important, Cale. Focus on what's at stake. Am I going to be okay?"

"Richard: Grr? I'm just acting out because I don't get to kill anyone."

"Richard: Bad news Cale, I'm afraid that your position as my closest and dearest companion is being replaced by the fellow who just tackled a dragon."

"Richard: No idea what he is talking about, but I respect his attitude and willingness to kill."

"Krunch: I'm being defended by a girl who frequently regurgitated on me not very long ago."

"Richard: Quite the dilemma. We kill the child and we return to our time. Or we torture then kill the child, and we return to our time. Decisions, decisions."

"Richard: I was just going to look. With fire. And lightning. And reanimated chipmunks. And raccoons. On fire."

"Richard: Cale? I noticed someone submitted a note into the suggestion box. "We should kill all the survivors and take their shoes." It's signed anonymously. We'll never know who wrote it. I wrote it."

"Richard: 'Battlemage' is about as impressive a title as Lord of the Dance."

"Richard: If the glove does fit, I definitely killed it."

"Richard: Objection!"

"Cheney dropped the gay bomb, now I'm fabulous!"

"Please do not staple your first born to Form 1040."

"The last time I saw snow, it was on the History Channel."

"The only way to get Republicans to care about Iraq is to put it in my uterus!"

"No one ever listens to me."

"Liberal means having to say "I told you so.""

"My third-eye jockstrap will protect me."

"Fiber protects, cheese endangers."

"As Rumsfeld leaves DC, the GOP continues to throw each other under the bus. Foley, Hastert and now maybe Bolton. We are in the last throws of the Republican Majority."

"That's the problem with San Francisco values, I never know if I am doing something gay."

"Rayne: Best friends come and go, but sex...sex is forever."

"Rayne: You finish that sentence and after I kill you, I'll do the 25 years to life with a smile on my face and no regrets."

"Rayne: Ladies you might think, that men don't care"

"Rayne: She's not shy about, so everyone can see"

"Rayne: Somewhere out there, there's a mother balloon mourning the death of her baby."

"Psych Ward Woman: Where are you going?"