First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"(in The Golfer, Norton is teaching Ralph how to play golf) First, you step up and address the ball. (To golf ball) Hello, ball!"
"Hey, Ralphie boy!"
"(about Ralph) Sheesh! What a grouch!"
"You're a riot, Alice! A regular riot!"
"Pins and needles, needles and pins. It's a happy man that grins."
"A mere bag of shells."
"Somewhere, there's a strait jacket waitin' for that man."
"BANG, ZOOM! To the moon, Alice!"
"I've got a BIG MOUTH!!"
"(To Alice at the end of many episodes) Baby, you're the greatest."
"(To Alice) You're gonna get yours!"
"(To Alice's mother after she gives away the mystery ending of a play Ralph was planning to go to that evening) YOU...ARE A BLABBERMOUTH!!!!!! A BLAAAAAAAAAAABBERMOUTH!!!!!!! YOU!!! BLABBERMOUTH!!!!!"
"(To Norton) You... are a mental case."
"Hamina-hamina-hamina-hamina."
"(To Alice, gesturing with his fist) Bang, zoom!"
"Even more revolutionary than the scorn for violence between men is the scorn for violence against women. Many baby boomers are nostalgic for The Honeymooners, a 1950s sitcom featuring Jackie Gleason as a burly bus driver whose get-rich-quick schemes are ridiculed by his sensible wife, Alice. In one of the show’s recurring laugh lines, an enraged Ralph shakes his fist at her and bellows, “One of these days, Alice, one of these days . . . POW, right in the kisser!” (Or sometimes “Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!”) Alice always laughs it off, not because she has contempt for a wife-beater but because she knows that Ralph is not weak enough to do it. Nowadays our sensitivity to violence against women makes this kind of comedy in a mainstream television program unthinkable."
"Ralph: That's the trouble with you, Alice. You don't know the latest developments! Alice: I don't know the latest developments??! Who is it that lets your pants out every other day??"
"[Ralph and Norton are reading scripts for a play they're rehearsing for] Norton: (reading from the script) I don't possess a mansion or a villa in France or a yacht or a string of poloponies. Ralph: (reading) I'm glad to hear... [He stops suddenly] "A string of poloponies"? Where do you see that? Norton: (pointing) Right there, "a string of poloponies". Ralph: That's "a string of POLO PONIES"!"
"Norton: Ralph? Ralph: What? Norton: Mind if I smoke? Ralph: I don't care if you burn."