talk-shows

"Todd Shapiro: If you kiss yourself, are you gay? (on "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars)"

"Ron Sparks: What does the "O" stand for Steve? "Oh my goodness he's got no talent at all!" (on "Joker & the Thief" by Wolfmother)"

"Ron Josol: Oh, the cat is out of the bag! You were one of those girls?! (on "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink)"

"Dini Dimakos: I give this video 4 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuubs out of 5 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs! (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)"

"Laurie Elliott: You're not here for our entertainment? Oh, why would you be, you're just an entertainer... (on "U + Ur Hand" by Pink)"

"Barry Taylor: It isn't your skin color that makes you ugly, it's your face. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Ron Sparks: Thank God it's not the G-Unit remix...What?...It is the G-Unit remix? G-G-G-G-G-Unit! (on "I Know You Don't Love Me" by Tony Yayo featuring G-Unit)"

"Pink (music video lyrics): My parents hated me, my teachers dated me."

"Trevor Boris: When people see this video, he'll be lucky if he's a chethousandaire. (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone)"

"Dini Dimakos: For a virgin, Jon's pretty flexible....wanna go out some time? (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)"

"Dini Dimakos: Animal cruelty: dying a dog's fur purple. Human cruelty: making a human's hair look like a poodle. (on "Morris Brown" by Outkast featuring Scar and Sleepy Brown)"

"Debra DiGiovanni: [Referring to the slow placed scene of dialogue at the video beginning] Wake me up when the video starts. (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)"

"David Kerr: Look out, Dr. Phil. There is a new caring man out there and his name is Marshall Mathers. (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)"

"David Kerr: If you wash your hands in your pee, then it saves you a bunch of time. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"Steven Shehori: [In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage] We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"Tamla Mai-Deleon: I give it a...purple. (on "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! at the Disco)"

"Sabrina Jalees: Please welcome Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! (on "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay)"

"Fraser Young: Hey! Let's play Skeeball! I wanna win a clean needle! (on "Who Knew" by Pink"

"Alex Nussbaum: Zeus shows him a yellow paper. Is it that he needs help reading it, or is he challenging Chamillionaire to see if he can read? (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krazyie Bone)"

"Chris Jericho: Is the little girl gonna get shot in the face?! (on "Freak on a Leash" by Korn)"

"Nile Seguin: Hey, I just made up with my wife. Great...now you're my wife. (on "But It's Better If You Do" by Panic! at the Disco)"

"Anna Von Frances: If you are truly beautiful you can cut off all your hair and still look pretty. That is why Jennifer Aniston will always have long hair. (on "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna)"

"Darrin Rows: There are no mother****ing snakes on a mother****ing plane? This is like a porno that ends when a girl takes her shirt off. (on "Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)" by Cobra Starship featuring William Beckett, Travis McCoy, and Maja Ivarsson)"

"Ron Josol: So she tells me to do something. Oh, I will! But you have security! (on "Do Somethin'" by Britney Spears)"

"Alex Nussbaum: Britney, before you open the door, make sure you know who it is. It just could be a stalker. (on "Lucky" by Britney Spears)"

"Nikki Payne: Here they are, The Fake Click Five! (on "Catch Your Wave" by The Click Five)"

"David Kerr: If you're still playing with dolls, you're too young for fake breasts. (on "Stupid Girls" by Pink)"

"David Kerr: Why is it that Stan's inner voice sounds just like Eminem? (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)"

"Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)"

"David Kerr: I thought it was pretty funny until I recognized my mom's writing, though I'm not sure why she drew me in a dress. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"David Kerr: Here's an idea, why don't you keep your crappy music your dirty little secret, and spare us from listening to it. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"DJ Trixx: I'm sorry, but Justin Timberlake makes this song so fruity. (on "Signs" by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake and Charlie Wilson)"

"Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)"

"Trevor Boris: Hey, kids! This is how baby cars are made. You take a daddy car and the daddy car puts his engine in the mommy car's trunk. (on "Go with the Flow" by Queens of the Stone Age)"

"Will Weldon: So finally, the brunette one gets a chance to sing. (on "Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls featuring will.i.am)"

"Linda Dano (speaking in the music video): He is 25 years old, and she is 84 years old."

"Matt Alden: I'm not sure, but I think Shaggy just recited the alphabet backwards somewhere in there. (on "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy featuring Rikrok)"

"Dini Dimakos: Yeah, you'll talk to this basket case, but when there's a hot guy you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't talk, I'm all shy and nervous!" (on "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield)"

"Trevor Boris: "Who knew" that this would be such a crappy video. I had a feeling. (on "Who Knew" by Pink"

"Fraser Young: Don't ever chain up the fatties. (on "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" by The Flaming Lips"

"Fraser Young: That's my parents arguing over whose fault it is that they forgot my 9th birthday. (on "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)"

"Sabrina Jalees: Shakira, honey, we know. That's why you have a choreographer. (on "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean)"

"Sabrina Jalees: Damn you gender rolls! I want a cheesecake! (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)"

"Ali Rizvi: So if Satan plays a guitar, what does Jesus play? Like...a flute or something? (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)"

"Fraser Young: Whoa, wait. Since when are there 4 guys in Green Day? (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)"

"Alex Nussbaum: When you eat you feel like a failure? Funny, 'cause when I eat I feel like a beverage. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Robin Black: I wanna be so famous, my vagina can travel through time. (on "A Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson)"

"Hugh Phukovsky: I don't need to listen to a robot talk about love. Robots don't know anything about love. Love comes from here. The human heart...of a 50-year old Jewish man. (on "Too Little Too Late" by JoJo)"