Slaves

"Once he saw the officials of a temple leading away some one who had stolen a bowl belonging to the treasurers, and said, "The great thieves are leading away the little thief.""

"When some one boasted that at the Pythian games he had vanquished men, Diogenes replied, "Nay, I defeat men, you defeat slaves.""

"If you are to be kept right, you must possess either good friends or red-hot enemies. The one will warn you, the other will expose you."

"To Xeniades, who had purchased Diogenes at the slave market, he said, "Come, see that you obey orders.""

"When scolded for masturbating in public, he said "I wish it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly.""

"Poverty is a virtue which one can teach oneself."

"When asked why people give to beggars but not to philosophers, he replied, 'Because they expect they may become lame and blind, but never that they will become philosophers.'"

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, "To get practice in being refused.""

"When some people urged that it is impossible for man to live like the animals owing to the tenderness of his flesh and because he is naked and unprotected, [Diogenes] would say in reply that men are so very tender because of their mode of life. ... Man’s ingenuity and his discovering and contriving so many helps to life had not been altogether advantageous to later generations, since men do not employ their cleverness to promote courage or justice, but to procure pleasure."

"Diogenes compared them to fig-trees growing over precipices; for their fruit was devoured by daws and crows, not by men."

"[Diogenes] was surprised by the fact that had he claimed to be a physician for the teeth, everybody would flock to him who needed to have a tooth pulled; yes, and by heavens, had he professed to treat the eyes, all who were suffering from sore eyes would present themselves, and similarly, if he had claimed to know of a medicine for diseases of the spleen or for gout or for running of the nose; but when he declared that all who should follow his treatment would be relieved of folly, wickedness, and intemperance, not a man would listen to him or seek to be cured by him, ... as though it were worse for a man to suffer from an enlarged spleen or a decayed tooth than from a soul that is foolish, ignorant, cowardly, rash, pleasure-loving, illiberal, irascible, unkind, and wicked, in fact utterly corrupt."

"When some one reminded him that the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, he said, "And I sentenced them to stay at home.""

"Diogenes the cynic, seeing one of the so-called freedmen pluming himself, while many heartily congratulated him, marveled at the absence of reason and discernment. “A man might as well,” he said, “proclaim that one of his servants became a grammarian, a geometrician, or musician, when he has no idea whatever of the art.” For as the proclamation cannot make them men of knowledge, so neither can it make them free."

"Diogenes the Cynic, it is related, was mighty of all people in regard to everything from self-control to endurance. He indulged in sexual lusts, not associating it with pleasure, an attractive good thing to some, but because of the harm that the retention of semen would cause if he avoided the habit of releasing it. When a prostitute who promised to visit him was delayed for some time, he rubbed his genitals with his hand, ejecting semen. After the whore arrived, he sent her away, saying: "my hand celebrated the wedding-hymn first." But it is clearly correct that, likewise, the disciplined man does not on account of pleasure indulge in lusts, but in order to relieve the hindrance acting as if this was not associated with pleasure."

"He was seized and dragged off to King Philip, and being asked who he was, replied, "A spy upon your insatiable greed.""

"To one who asked what was the proper time for lunch, he said, "If a rich man, when you will; if a poor man, when you can.""

"When [Diogenes of Sinope] was sold as a slave, he endured it most nobly. For on a voyage to Aegina he was captured by pirates under the command of Scirpalus, conveyed to Crete and exposed for sale. When the auctioneer asked in what he was proficient, he replied, "In ruling men." Thereupon he pointed to a certain Corinthian with a fine purple border to his robe, the man named Xeniades above-mentioned, and said, “Sell me to this man; he needs a master.”"

"Thieves and fighters do not come from eaters of barley-bread; but informers and tyrants come from meat-eaters."

"He used to reason as follows: 'Everything belongs to the gods; the wise are friends of the gods; friends hold all things in common; ergo, everything belongs to the wise.'"

"Boasting, like gilded armour, is very different inside from outside."

"οἱ μὲν ἄλλοι κύνες τοὺς ἐχθροὺς δάκνουσιν, ἐγὼ δὲ τοὺς φίλους, ἵνα σώσω."

"When the slave auctioneer asked in what he was proficient, he replied, "In ruling people.""

"He was breakfasting in the marketplace, and the bystanders gathered round him with cries of "dog." "It is you who are dogs," cried he, "when you stand round and watch me at my breakfast.""

"When Alexander the Great addressed him with greetings, and asked if he wanted anything, Diogenes replied "Yes, stand a little out of my sunshine.""

"Aristotle dines when it seems good to King Philip, but Diogenes when he himself pleases."

"On reaching Athens he fell in with Antisthenes. Being repulsed by him, because he never welcomed pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore him out. Once when he stretched out his staff against him, the pupil offered his head with the words, "Strike, for you will find no wood hard enough to keep me away from you, so long as I think you've something to say.""

"Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, "Good men nowhere, but good boys at Sparta.""

"One day, observing a child drinking out of his hands, he cast away the cup from his wallet with the words, "A child has beaten me in plainness of living.""

"This- this- is liberty! genuine British liberty!- This instant about two thousand liberty boys are swearing and swaggering by with large sticks"

"[few of Sancho's letters were actually intended for publication, but here is one sample, written during a military recruiting crisis] The vast bounties offered for able-bodied men sheweth the zeal and liberality of our wise lawgivers- yet indicateth a scarcity of men. Now, they seem to me to have overlooked one resource (which appears obvious); a resource which would greatly benefit the people at large (by being more usefully employed), and which are happily half-trained already for the service of their country, by being- powder proof- light, active, young fellows: I dare say you have anticipated my scheme, which is to form ten companies at least, out of the very numerous body of hair-dressers..."

"[this letter concerns the naval duel in which HMS Flora captured the French navy frigate Nymphe] When Capt. Williams had conquered the crew, they found sixty dead upon deck;- the two ships exhibited a scene more like a slaughter-house, than any thing imaginable- These, oh Christians! are the features of war- and thus Most Christian Kings and Defenders of Faith shew their zeal and love for the dying commands of their Divine Master"

"Were I as rich in worldly commodity, as in hearty will, I would thank you most princely for your very welcome and agreeable letter;- but, were it so, I should not proportion my gratitude to your wants;- for, blessed be the God of thy hope!- thou wantest nothing- more than, what's in thy possession, or in thy power to possess:- I would neither give thee Money, nor Territory, Women, nor Horses, nor Camels, nor the height of Asiatic pride, Elephants;- I would give thee Books"

"... confess now- could you lie with the wife of your friend? could you debauch his sister? could you defraud a poor creditor? could you by gambling rejoice in the outwitting a novice of all his possessions?- No! why then thou art a silly fellow, incumbered with three abominable inmates; to wit- Conscience, Honesty, and Good-nature"

"I do request you to thank Mr. W___ for me, and tell him he has the prayers- not of a raving mad whig, nor fawning deceitful tory- but of a coal-black, jolly African, who wishes health and peace to every religion and country throughout the ample range of God's creation!"

"Without the least desire to play the Cynic, I feel justified in saying, that a general intercourse with mankind rather diminishes that charity for each other which our Holy Religion so strongly presses upon us. In him that principle seemed to increase with his years; and although he had experienced neglect and repeated disappointments where he might have least expected them, yet he ceased not to afford comfort and relief to the distressed, of whatsoever complexion or country the objects of his compassion might be. Neither were these endeavours to do good confined to his advice and information, which were invaluable; but his pittance (as far as the duty he owed to his family permitted) was shared with the needy and the wretched."

"... to my inexpressible happiness, she is my wife, and truly best part, without a single tinge of my defects"

"... as you are not to be a boy all your life- and I trust would not be reckoned a fool- use your every endeavour to be a good man"

"[written when news was received that a vast French invasion fleet had appeared off the south coast of England ] MA CHERE AMIE, … I awake to fears of invasion, to noise, faction, drums, soldiers, and care:- the whole town has now but two employments- the learning of French, and the exercise of arms- which is highly political, in my poor opinion, for should the military fail of success, which is not impossible- why, the ladies must take the field, and scold them to their ships again."

"Poverty and Genius were coupled by the wisdom of Providence for wise and good ends, no doubt"

"Commerce was meant by the goodness of the Deity to diffuse the various goods of the earth into every part, to unite mankind in the blessed chains of brotherly love, society, and mutual dependence: the enlightened Christian should diffuse the riches of the Gospel of peace, with the commodities of his respective land. Commerce attended with strict honesty, and with Religion for its companion, would be a blessing to every shore it touched at. In Africa, the poor wretched natives, blessed with the most fertile and luxuriant soil, are rendered so much the more miserable for what Providence meant as a blessing: the Christians' abominable traffic for slaves, and the horrid cruelty and treachery of the petty Kings- encouraged by their Christian customers- who carry them strong liquors, to enflame their national madness, and powder, and bad fire-arms, to furnish them with the hellish means of killing and kidnapping. But enough- it is a subject that sours my blood"

"A wise economy- without avaricious meanness, or dirty rapacity will in a few years render you decently independent."

"...an awkward loon- whom I do sometimes care about- who has more wit than money- more good sense than wit- more urbanity than sense- and more pride than some princes"

"His Letters to various Friends, published for the benefit of his surviving widow and family, breathe the spirit of true piety and Christian benevolence, whether addressed to the old or the young; at the same time, a playfulness pervades the whole, which seldom accompanies the writings of a Moralist, but which always renders advice more palatable; and by them it will be seen that he possessed, in an eminent degree, the happy art of laughing Vice out of countenance, and arresting the progress of Libertinism in the youthful and thoughtless."

"... how comes it that- without the advantages of a twentieth generationship of noble blood flowing uncontaminated in your veins- without the customary three years dissipation at college- and the (nothing-to-be-done without) four years perambulation on the Continent- without all these needful appendages- with little more than plain sense, sheer good-nature, and a right honest heart- thou canst,"

"I am one of those people whom the vulgar and illiberal call "Negurs."- The first part of my life was rather unlucky, as I was placed in a family who judged ignorance the best and only security for obedience."

"Could I new-model Nature, your sex should rule supreme, there should be no other ambition but that of pleasing the ladies, no other warfare but the contention of obsequious lovers, nor any glory but the bliss of being approved by the Fair."

"Self-love, my friend, bewitches parents to give too much indulgence to infantine foibles;- the constant cry is, "Poor little soul, it knows no better!" If it swears, that's a sign of wit and spirit; if it fibs, it's so cunning and comical; if it steals, 'tis only a paw trick- and the mother exultingly cries, "My Jacky is so sharp, we can keep nothing from him!""

"..."the only intrinsic nett worth, in my possession, is Mrs. Sancho- who I can compare to nothing so properly as to a diamond in the dirt- but, my friend, that is Fortune's fault, not mine- for, had I power, I would case her in gold.""

"We are in great hopes about poor Lydia.- An honest and ingenious motherly woman in our neighbourhood has undertaken the perfect cure of her, and we have every reason to think, with God's blessing, she will succeed- which is a blessing we shall owe entirely to the comfort of being poor, for had we been rich, the doctors would have had the honor of killing her a twelvemonth ago."