"When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty. It may not sound nice to some bunch of little old ladies at an afternoon tea party, but it helps my soldiers to remember. You can't run an army without profanity; and it has to be eloquent profanity. An army without profanity couldn't fight its way out of a piss-soaked paper bag. … As for the types of comments I make, sometimes I just, By God, get carried away with my own eloquence."

"There written all Black as the damning drops that fall From the denouncing Angel's pen Ere Mercy weeps them out again."

"What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fucky, fuckity, fuck-fuck-fuck."

"I’m always amused by those commentators who nervously insist that the working class’s constant use of the word fuck is really just “a form of punctuation.” It is, however, no more or less then what they dread: an inexhaustible river of smelted wrath, a Phlegethon of ancestral grievance."

"I'll be damned for never a king's son in Christendom."

"First of all you – you fucking fake Christians – don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude."

"Look, I can't speak without swearing, and I've only got my Grade 10, and I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested, and I'm ready to fuckin' snap. So I'd like to make a request under the people's freedom of choices and voices act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom. Because if I can't smoke and swear, I'm fucked! And so are all these guys. I won't be able to properly express myself at a court level, and that's bullshit! It's not fair and if you ask me, I think it's a fuckin' mistrial."

"Bad language or abuse I never, never use, Whatever the emergency; Though "Bother it" I may Occasionally say, I never never use a big, big D."

"CURSE, v.t. Energetically to belabor with a verbal slap-stick. This is an operation which in literature, particularly in the drama, is commonly fatal to the victim. Nevertheless, the liability to a cursing is a risk that cuts but a small figure in fixing the rates of life insurance."

"Jack was embarrassed—never hero more, And as he knew not what to say, he swore."

"Take not His name, who made thy mouth, in vain; It gets thee nothing, and hath no excuse."

"That in the captain's but a choleric word, Which in the soldier is flat blasphemy."

"Do not swear at all; Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, Which is the god of my idolatry, And I'll believe thee."

"For it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him."

"One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys began to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policemen heard the noise, and came to save the two dead boys. If you don't believe me, well it's true, ask the blind man: he saw it all too."

"Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem: Dulce est desipere in loco."

"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear! Who has written such volumes of stuff! Some think him ill-tempered and queer, But a few think him pleasant enough."

"No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the misfortune is to do it solemnly."

"Chorus Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!"

"For blocks are better cleft with wedges, Than tools of sharp or subtle edges, And dullest nonsense has been found By some to be the most profound."

"To varnish nonsense with the charms of sound."

"Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare!"

"There's a skin without and a skin within, A covering skin and a lining skin, But the skin within is the skin without Doubled and carried complete throughout."

"Whenever you come near the human race, there’s layers and layers of nonsense."

"A careless song, with a little nonsense in it now and then, does not misbecome a monarch."

"My aim is: to teach you to pass from a piece of disguised nonsense to something that is patent nonsense."

"He killed the noble Mudjokivis. Of the skin he made him mittens, Made them with the fur side inside, Made them with the skin side outside. He, to get the warm side inside, Put the inside skin side outside; He, to get the cold side outside, Put the warm side fur side inside. That's why he put the fur side inside, Why he put the skin side outside, Why he turned them inside outside."

"There is absolutely no common sense; it is common nonsense."

"When Bryan O'Lynn had no shirt to put on, He took him a sheep skin to make him a' one. "With the skinny side out, and the wooly side in, 'Twill be warm and convanient," said Bryan O'Lynn."

"From the Squirrel skin Marcosset Made some mittens for our hero. Mittens with the fur-side inside, With the fur side next his fingers So's to keep the hand warm inside."

"The evolution of sense is, in a sense, the evolution of nonsense."

"Probably the best nonsense poetry is produced gradually and accidentally, by communities rather than by individuals."

"Any bit of nonsense can be computerized—astrology, biorhythms, the I Ching—but that doesn’t make the nonsense any more valid."

"If others examined themselves attentively, as I do, they would find themselves, as I do, full of inanity and nonsense. Get rid of it I cannot without getting rid of myself."

"Alban was silent. It was difficult to talk to a man who spoke obvious nonsense."

"No one is exempt from talking nonsense. The great misfortune is to do it solemnly."

"I don't hold with all this washing. This modern Behind-the-ears nonsense."

"Such a shuffleing, nonsensical paragraph was, I firmly believe, never put together since the invention of letters. That which I do not, and which, I think, no one can, understand. I shall not meddle with."

"Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age."

"They beautifully illustrate the recipe for nonsense, which is: take something strange-looking, whose meaning is now forgotten, and liberally stir in imagination and superstition. In this respect the divinatory tarot is a paradigm of all superstitions and wonderfully illustrates humanity’s clever, ingenious, and intricate capacity for folly."

"Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense."

"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought."

"For one of us was born a twin And not a soul knew which."

"A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men."

"As Charms are nonsense, Nonsence is a Charm."

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable."

"Nonsense is socially OK, but not stupidity."

"Nine–tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense."