Self Help Writers

"Being a person that others can trust is one of the most sought after qualities in the workplace today. So many leaders and their staff have shown in the recent global financial crisis a lack of trust and integrity amongst themselves and with their clients and other stakeholders."

"Remember above all to be true to yourself. It is ok to act and to pretend that something is ok, but admit the truth to yourself."

"Do not become someone who regrets leaving a job or resigning from a company when with hindsight you realize you should have stayed longer and stuck it out."

"Life is too short to spend too long at work and also to waste your time while in the workplace."

"The working world needs more empathic leaders, staff and colleagues. A person’s high level of empathy will make up for a wide array of other skills and attributes."

"Help others to explore the challenges and problems facing them through what is called coaching. This is not sports coaching where a coach would simply tell others what to do, but is a work-based form of coaching, sometimes called executive coaching."

"Successful people in the workplace like to recognise and to congratulate those around them. Too often we forget to thank and to recognize when someone else has done a great job."

"Unless you work in a cave as a solitary hermit, your entire working life will involve connecting with various people...Do not wait until you have a particular issue or problem before re-connecting with someone."

"The most successful people in the workplace are those who normally really like and ‘buy-into’ their employer’s mission and vision. In other words such people like what the company wishes to achieve and where it is heading. It is akin to being on a ship and liking what the ship is doing and liking where the ship is heading. Can you imagine being on a ship and not wishing to go where it is heading?"

"The working culture in an organization is rarely spoken about and is often only discussed when someone is critical about where they are working. This is a shame as the working culture influences and affects everything around you."

"Mastering and navigating around office politics is never easy and there are times when you may simply be on the receiving end of some negative gossip or rumours."

"It is surprising how blind we can be to what we are communicating both verbally and non-verbally."

"Humans do not seem to like changing and the majority of people with whom I have worked actually hate leaving the status quo of their comfort zones."

"By trying to do what is right will often entail you having to disagree with others, and this is not easy. Once you start doing it more often, you will find it easier."

"Learn to become like Britain’s wartime Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, who found that those moments of having to be humble and having to ‘eat his own words’ were invaluable."

"We live in a world in which everything seems to needed now and working quickly is normally viewed as a positive attribute in the workplace...Do not let yourself become too frazzled and stressed by doing everything at high speed."

"As I have coached hundreds of individuals in the workplace, I have discovered that we waste precious time by delaying and procrastinating. We might know that the work is very urgent and important but we still might find ourselves being slow to start the task."

"Stress can be a killer and is far too prevalent in today’s workplaces. You may not die because of stress but stress can easily kill your energy levels, motivation, relationships, health and mindset."

"Good decision-making is like playing chess and you must avoid making hasty decisions without thinking of how that particular decision will impact on different aspects of your work and organization. The worst kind of decision-making is to decide to delay a difficult decision until later or to pass it to someone else to have to make. You will never excel and be valued by your colleagues if you get into these habits of procrastination and passing responsibility to others."

"Many people find it hard working with their boss and often leave their jobs because of their boss’ working style, behaviours and attitude. I once heard someone say, “I joined the company, but I left my boss”."

"Too many teams are dysfunctional and are plagued with poor communication, lack of direction, selfishness and little sharing – they are teams only in name. To create a high performing team the key is to align all members of your team so that each member is moving in the same direction and understands their role and contribution. A good analogy is to think of a team of rowers where if the each rower is not totally aligned with all the other rowers the boat might go around in circles or even capsize."

"Diversity is a very popular business topic today while the negative side of diversity, discrimination, remains a touchy and sensitive topic. Even in organisations which follow the letter of the law in terms of not discriminating against any individuals, it is common for people to show prejudice and bias...Have the courage to stand out from your colleagues by being very open to and comfortable with all kinds of diversity amongst your colleagues and stakeholders. When you sense someone is being ignored or marginalized spend time with them and bring them into discussions encouraging them to speak up as needed."

"Seek feedback on a spontaneous basis. After you have completed a particular task do get into the habit of asking colleagues for feedback about how you performed. The best feedback is the instantaneous kind where feedback is given as soon as something has happened"

"Always be honest with yourself about how you are feeling, no matter what kinds of emotions might be building up inside of you. ...Pretending to ourselves that we are not feeling something, does not make that emotion disappear."

"Some people seem to operate on an auto-pilot and when they become emotional they immediately react. What triggers you to react in a potentially negative way at work?"

"It is not just a question of needing courage to do something. There may also be a cost of not acting in the first place and sometimes doing nothing is not an option, with the challenge being to minimize the potential risks of any choice you do make."

"The best way to learn something is from experience – to actually try doing the task or activity. Great learnings can come when you face challenge and difficulty and when you might not succeed."

"So many people give up too easily and as a result they never achieve the level of work success that might otherwise have been possible. People might overcome any hesitation in trying out something once, but in the face of the first setback, rejection or failure the majority of people would not continue and would simply give up. It is impossible to excel in your job and career if you are part of this majority - you would be leaving the minority who would be persevering, trying again and in many cases eventually succeeding. Can you imagine how many other light bulb inventors tried, failed and gave up during the time that Thomas Edison was showing amazing resilience by trying again and again until he eventually succeeded. Not giving up in itself is a form of excelling and would enable you to stand out amongst your colleagues."

"Mentoring is a combination of skills and you would find your own mentoring style as a result of your work experience, personality and work environment...Mentoring is more of an intention and mindset as opposed to a specific set of skills or processes and it is never too late to start mentoring and helping others."

"The best method of ensuring that you will leave a great legacy behind is to plan and to work on your legacy while you are still working and the"

"Always ask yourself: “How would I like to be remembered after I have left and moved on?”"

"Leading a group of people in a team involves so many variables including each team member’s personality, expectations, experience and ambitions. Putting a group of people together can produce all kinds of outcomes – sometimes negative...The role of a team leader or manager is to minimize any potential negative outcomes while maximizing the positive potential of the team."

"However recruitment is also an art and involves developing people and leadership skills that cannot be totally taught. Only through experience can you become a better judge of whether a certain candidate will be the best fit for a particular job role, company culture and management style."

"We live in a world of teams made up of all kinds of people. We see this every day on TV, in newspapers and on the web – it might news about a winning sports team, a company’s leadership team who have succeeded in buying another company or it might be a about a group of homeowners who have won a battle against a big developer."

"Do you have what it takes to succeed in life, in work and in your relationships?"

"What does success mean to you? What kind of success would you like in your life?"

"Success is the accomplishment of any number of possible aims, dreams, aspirations or goals. It’s very personal and unique to you. Your greatest desire could be someone else’s idea of hell; you might want to be an award-winning chef while your best friend hates cooking."

"Dreams are the fuel for your success. Without them there can never be any meaningful and lasting success in your life. Like a car engine without high-quality fuel you risk living a life that never quite gets started."

"Successful people never forget what they love to do and are passionate about. They quickly learn to follow their own path and to make the right choices, no matter how crazy or unpopular they might appear to others. Just look at Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, who quit studying at a prestigious university to pursue his dreams."

"Saying ‘I don’t know’ takes guts but it’s an immensely positive reaction and a clear sign that you don’t take yourself too seriously."

"Knowing when you don’t know the answer and being honest about it is one of the greatest skills you can have. If you aim to be perfect, you’ll only end up disappointed. When you admit your blind spots, people will flock to support you."

"Life is unpredictable and uncertain. You can never be right all the time. Sometimes the best thing to do is to chill, step back, admit you could do with some help and stop taking yourself so seriously."

"Successful people never rely upon chance or fate."

"You might look at someone successful and think they got lucky – a case of being in the right place at the right time perhaps? The truth is, every piece of good fortune is the result of hours, or even years, of hard work and preparation."

"Never resign yourself to what the future holds. I coach too many individuals who have given up on trying to influence their future. They have abdicated responsibility, giving all kinds of lame excuses, blaming bad luck or other people for their lives to date and what the future holds."

"It is too easy and simplistic to feel that, if you have not succeeded yet, you will not succeed in the future. Overcoming fatalistic thinking is essential if you really want a great future."

"He treats people as objects for manipulation.One part of this orientation was cogently expressed by Dorothy Schiff, one-time owner, publisher and sole stock holder of the New York Post, and for many years one of America's most powerful women. In a published interview she commented, "Most people to me are nothing but personnel problems."Discussing her personal life, she commented, "Unforeseen problems always arise in my marriages. Maybe very common problems, but they always take me by surprise." When the interviewer asked her what sort of problems she was referring to, she replied, "That the other person has needs …""

"When I am asked about my own motivations for changing, my response is that the alternative of not changing seems far worse and more frightening. Mine is not idealistic rebellion or personal sacrifice. From my point of view it is a matter of survival. I do not want to pay the price I see extracted from most of the men around me."

"I have frequently had men describe the following scenario to me: "If at the beginning of a relationship, I keep the woman at a distance and don't want to get too close, she feels that I am pushing her away and that I am not making a commitment—that I am afraid to be intimate. When I finally let down my guard and try to be intimate and close, when I really make myself vulnerable and give up control, which is uncomfortable for me, then I feel really inadequate. She blames me for things that she never blamed me for when I kept my distance. When I start to get close, that's when I am accused of saying the wrong thing or trying to control her. So I am better off staying at a distance and letting her complain about a lack of intimacy."Stewart, age thirty-six, described it this way: "Maryann was liberated on the surface, but the undertow was very different. I would find out a couple of evenings after I had been with her that she was very angry and I wouldn't even know that I had done something wrong. She would be angry because she said I wasn't really involved enough. I didn't care enough about her. The irony is that the women in my life whom I've made the greatest effort to get close to are the ones who always wind up saying they are angry because I wasn't getting close. When I made no effort to get close and really kept my distance, I never got any complaints. The moment I felt I was really opening myself up to be intimate, that was when I was found to be failing. That is the double bind for me."Another such truth was experienced by Alex. He said, "If you keep the control, the distance, then the woman is kept insecure; and so long as she is insecure about the relationship, she will be less inclined to attack. If she's interested in you, but you keep her at a distance, she will be careful about attacking you. She won't criticize you because she's afraid of you. The moment you cross the barrier and actually start to get committed, you find that she begins to feel that you are inadequate as a partner. You know then and there that you are never going to be able to satisfy her."I found this to be true sexually. At the times when I personally thought I was the most sensitive and the most involved and caring as a lover, I would find out often that I was a failure. At the times when I allowed myself to be totally selfish, without apology and didn't give one thought to what the woman experienced, I never got any complaints. I was never told I was selfish as a lover. In fact, I was often told that I was wonderful.""

"The growing singles world gives us another vantage point from which to see how sexual desire and excitement are a matter of distance elements. A couple goes to bed, perhaps on the first or second date, with seemingly great sexual appetite and desire for each other. The sex was "great," but the man, who believed he really wanted "great sex," never comes back for more; or the woman, who seemed to have been so "turned on" and sexually responsive, is not interested in a repeat performance.There is an often expressed "singles lament": "The ones I'm really turned on to don't seem to want me; while the people who want me, I can't get excited over." Then, finally, the disturbing conclusion: "The good ones are all taken, only the undesirable or 'sick' ones are left.""