Romance Novels

"Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged."

""How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly."

"I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride."

"I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not."

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. "Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. "Because I LOVE HER!"

"AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!"

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. "STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. "Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!""

"WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."

""Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming!"

"We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!"

"B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) "It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. "Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." "Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie."

"Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song."

"I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot."

""WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)"

""WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him. "Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?" Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it."

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. "YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"

""No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other."

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

""Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister. "Bye bitch." I said waving."

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." Dubleodre started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?" I glared at Dumbledore. "Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!" "Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?" I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon."

"He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them."

""Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily. "CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket."

""No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Darko!1!"

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…. "Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio. "You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing."

""You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. "Fangs." I said."

"Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it. "Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office.""

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily. "I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

"Whose he!11" I asked. "Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Ebony?" "Yah?" I asked. "Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

""ORLY." I ESKED."

""Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?" Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day."

"I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans. "What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked. "I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111"

"We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111 "Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily. "STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111""

""HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted. I looked around….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily."

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally. "No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

""OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally. "Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111"

"AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111"

""Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece."

"Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly….. ….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11"

"The morning came and it was she no longer."

""Pat," said I. "Pat." And for the first time she did not answer me."

"It is easier to be alone without love."

"Mortality is man's invention; not in the logic of life."

"I looked out the window at the grey satin-hung mountain. It just isn't true all this, thought I; just isn't real, it doesn't go like this. This is only a stage where they act a bit at death. When men die it's in grim earnest—I should have liked to follow these young folk and shake them by the shoulders and say to them "It is so, isn't it? This is just a charade of death, and you mere facetious amateurs acting at dying? You'll get up again after and bow, won't you? People just don't die this way, from a bit of fever and noisy breathing—it takes bullets and wounds, I know that."

"Pity is the most useless article in the world. [...] It's the reverse side of gloating, you ought to know that."

"Only the unhappy man appreciates happiness. The happy man is a mannequin for the life-feeling. He displays it merely; he doesn't possess it. Light doesn't shine in the light; it shines in the dark. A health to the dark. The man who has once been in the storm can't handle delicate electric apparatus any more. To hell with the storm. Blessed be our bit of life. And because we do love it we're not prepared to invest it in five per cents; we prefer to burn it. Drink, my boys. There are stars still shining that blew up ten thousand light-years ago. Drink while there is yet time. Long live unhappiness. Long live the dark."

"Otto," said I to Köster, who was walking in front of me, "I know now what those people are wanting. They don't want politics at all. They want substitute religion." He looked around. "Of course. They want to believe in something again—in what, it doesn't matter. That's why they are so fanatical, too, of course."

"She took the cigarette but soon laid it aside. "I don't like the taste, Robby. I just don't like it any more." I laughed. "It's always so when you've been deprived of anything for a long time." "You were deprived of me for a long time," said she. "It's so only with poisons," I replied: "Schnapps and tobacco." "Human beings are a much worse poison than schnapps or tobacco, darling." I laughed. "You are a clever child, Pat.""