First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Reality show bears no resemblance to reality whatsoever"
"Bush & Howard now closer than ever: in polls"
"Actor's opinion on world events apparently newsworthy"
"Rock band takes itself seriously"
"Latest special McDonald's burger tastes identical to last one"
"Nine album tracks just filler between three singles"
"Donkey voter a complete ass"
"Iraqi cheese-maker complains of Kurds getting in the Whey"
"Newsreader rushed to hospital after trying to pronounce name of new Indonesian president Dr. Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono"
"Calls for tougher sentencing on killer flus"
"Australian actress pretends she still calls Australia home"
"Bird and bee have sex with disastrous results"
"First with the news. First with the corrections."
"For 24 hour protection."
"No one has more news because no one has more desks."
"70% commercial-free."
"Take two glasses of know-how and add a teaspoon of truth. Stir thoroughly."
"Zero tolerance news."
"Never compromise with terrorists. Never compromise on your coverage."
"Fighting the war on terror everyday."
"Making the world safe again."
"News with a touch of humanity."
"Trust us. You can trust us."
"Fighting the war on terror from your own sofa with CNNNN."
"Light on the details, so you can slam it down fast."
"You don't mess with what's right."
"We like to call it the truth."
"One network under God."
"It's a brave news world."
"Because opinion matters more than fact."
"Home of newstainment."
"Now with 20% more chimp stories."
"Hard news. Made easy."
"Operation Enduring Entertainment."
"The news you choose."
"More N's than any other network."
"Were funded through Italy and Germany."
"And were taught to fly in America."
"Celebrity chef eating 2 minute noodles for dinner again"
"Cast of new Australian comedy show likely to include Glen Robbins"
"Seafood restaurant owner admits he has crabs"
"Petition of 43 munitions workers supports war in Iraq"
"Audience worried Carlos Santana solo may never finish"
"Artwork accused of having ulterior motif"
"Trendy dog insists on bottled toilet water"
"Non-pianist performs 'chopsticks'"
"Child plays with slinky a second time"
"Paralympians slam closing ceremony audience for "insensitive" standing ovation"
"Disneyland still waiting on formal UN recognition"
"Bringing you other people's pain."