"The sad news is that we will be heading back to nalak not with six of our co-workers in a state of permanent death. They died today, murdered by some real arseholes."

"I think the gruel is ready!"

"Tomorrow we're having you for lunch!"

"I'm sure you'll be pleased to be leaving this shitty planet!"

"That's the end of those weekend cowboys!"

"[after shooting the alien that was about to execute Giles in the head] I bet that cleared the sinuses."

"The bastards have landed!"

"[after drop-kicking an alien's head out of a window] The old magic is still there."

"I'm born again!"

"I'm coming to get you bastards. [laughs in a mad way]"

"Eat lead sucker!"

"Well this sure has buggered your plans for conquering the world, eh? Hehe... my friend, the astro-bastard, time for talkies. By the time my colleagues get here I want to have you babbling in some extra-terrestrial language!"

"What are you dirty hooers doing on my planet?"

"The headshot's the only true stopper."

"Stay where you are then, and I'll give you an eye witness description of this, intergalactic wanker!"

"I'm a Derek. Dereks don't run!"

"Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"

"Stick all the bits of brain in a plastic bag, Barry."

"Peter Vere-Jones - Lord Crumb's Voice"

"Dean Lawrie - Lord Crumb SPFX Double/3rd Class Alien"

"Doug Wren - Lord Crumb"

"Listen! You no pick up the cage, you no get the big dollars."

"[as an excuse for punching Selywn and stuffing it into a bag] Hyperactive..."

"[about to charge at the zombies with a hoisted law mower] Party's over!"

"That's my mother you're pissing on."

"They're not dead exactly, they're just... sort of rotting."

"Harry Sinclair - Roger"

"Elizabeth Mullane - Rita"

"Lewis Rowe - Albert Matheson"

"Glenis Levestam - Nora Matheson"

"Murray Keane - Scroat"

"Jed Brophy - Void"

"Stuart Devenie - Father McGruder (The Fighting Priest)"

"Brenda Kendall - Nurse McTavish"

"Ian Watkin - Uncle Les"

"Elizabeth Moody - Vera Cosgrove"

"Diana Peñalver - Paquita María Sánchez"

"Timothy Balme - Lionel Cosgrove"

"You'll laugh yourself sick!"

"There's something nasty in Lionel's cellar - His family!"

"Some things won't stay down... even after they die."

"...and this little zombie stayed at home!"

"The Goriest Fright Film of All Time!"

"The most undercooked comedy in the history of Cinema!"

"Gone with the Blood..."

"The rot has set in...."

"Zombie Mother: No one will ever love you like your mother!"

"Zoo Keeper: Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys."

"Undertaker: [as Vera's eyes pop out and green slime sprays out] Cranial blowout!"

"Intellectual: [defending himself against oncoming zombies] Some of my best friends are Pedophiles! [His famous last words]"