"[last lines] So until next time, remember: Cardio, seat belts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. [Tallahassee hits the zombie with the car door] I'm Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying good night."

"[voiceover, face to face with a zombie clown] Oh, God. Look at this fucking clown. Of course...it had to be a clown! No, wait. It had to be a clown. And it had to be Wichita up there to make me realize that some rules... [the words "RULE #17: DON'T BE A HERO" appear, with the word "DON'T" falling down, and turning into "RULE #17: BE A HERO"] ...are meant to be broken. Time to nut up or shut up. Fuck this clown."

"[to Tallahassee] You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like developed in a secret government lab!"

"I used to avoid people like they were zombies before they were zombies. Now that they are all now zombies, I kinda miss people."

"Daniel Dae Kim - Dr. Tsi Chou"

"Christa Miller - Dr. Angela Noyce"

"Andre Braugher - General George Mancheck"

"Benjamin Bratt - Dr. Jeremy Stone"

"Ted Whittall - President Scott"

"Eric McCormack - Jack Nash"

"Ricky Schroder - Major Bill Keane, M.D."

"Viola Davis - Dr. Charlene Barton"

"Paul Perri - Dr. Smithson"

"Morgan Freeman — Brig. Gen. Billy Ford"

"Rene Russo — Robby Keough"

"Dustin Hoffman — Col. Sam Daniels"

"Try to remain calm."

"This animal carries a deadly virus… and the greatest medical crisis in the world is about to happen."

"[appeals to the Clean Sweep bomber crew to call off the strike] You hear me, don't you, guys? I'll say it one last time. These people that you're going to bomb are not the enemy. We can kill the virus without killing these people. I swear on my soul that the President does not have the facts. He doesn't know we have a working serum. Oh Christ, if you think I'm lying, drop the bomb. If you think I'm crazy, drop the bomb, but don't drop the bomb just because you're following orders! What you haven't been told is that your superiors have another agenda. Don't you understand that right below you in Cedar Creek, there's a biological weapon that they've been manufacturing illegally for the last 30 years?!? Hey, I guarantee you that the disease has spread beyond the perimeters of this town! If you incinerate Cedar Creek, you incinerate the serum!!!"

"[addresses Cabinet after General McClintock briefs them on Operation Clean Sweep] Now, as I understand it, you want to firebomb the town of Cedar Creek, California, population 2600, with something called a "fuel-air bomb", the most powerful non-nuclear weapon in our arsenal. [describes with hands] The way it works, it explodes, sucks in all available oxygen to the core, vaporizes everything within a mile of ground zero — men, women, children, and one airborne virus. Destruction complete, case closed, crisis over. [He pulls out a small booklet from his back pocket.] This... Constitution of the United States... [throws on table] I've read it cover to cover. I don't find anything in it about vaporizing 2600 American citizens, but it does say — several times — that no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process. So, a couple of things before "Clean Sweep" is even considered: One, unanimous, unwavering support for the president on this one and I mean public, you're gonna stand there shoulder to shoulder with him - he goes down, you go down. And the second thing is, I want an army of experts citing hundreds of thousands of lab experiments, telling any idiot with a camera, that there was no other way! You got that? Hmm? No member of this government is gonna go sneaking off to the Washington Post telling how "they were the sole voice of opposition." If there is a voice of opposition out there, I want him in here now! [Throws a wad of photos on the table.] Those are the citizens of Cedar Creek. Go on, look at them - these are not statistics, ladies and gentlemen - they're flesh and blood, and I want you to burn those into your memories, because those images should haunt us 'til the day we die!"

"J. T. Walsh — White House Chief of Staff"

"Robert Alan Beuth — George Armistead (export clerk)"

"Diana Bellamy — Mrs. Pananides"

"Matthew Saks — Sgt. Wolf (airport dispatch)"

"Dale Dye — Lt. Col. Briggs"

"Donald Sutherland — Maj. Gen. Donald McClintock"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. — Maj. Salt"

"Kevin Spacey — Maj. Casey Schuler"

"Fools! They refuse to believe life exists in meteorites. I showed them at the astrophysics conference what I just showed you. But no! Even with a microscope, they are blind! What do I have to do, hit them over the head?"

"Reuben Singer — Dr. Rudolph Karp"

"James W. Gavin — Dempsey"

"John Carter — MP Capt. Morton"

"Ken Swofford — Toby"

"Eric Christmas — Senator Phillips (Vermont)"

"Ramon Bieri — Maj. Manchek"

"George Mitchell — Jackson"

"Hello, Ops. This is Major Manchek, Scoop Control A-12. We need a fly-by over Piedmont, New Mexico. Infrared, a FLIR scan, all sectors, film to come direct to Scoop. Assign… Gunner Wilson. If he's not crocked some place."

"Paula Kelly — Karen Anson"

"Kate Reid — Dr. Ruth Leavitt"

"James Olson — Dr. Mark Hall"

"David Wayne — Dr. Charles Dutton"

"Arthur Hill — Dr. Jeremy Stone"

"[Reading a suicide note from an old woman hanging over her stairs 0:24:33] "The Day of Judgement is at hand. Have mercy on my soul… and to Hell with all the others, amen!""