"[trying to find the address where he is assigned to collect urinal cakes] East 161st Street and River Avenue? East 161st Street and River Avenue! [he finds it only to realize it's Yankee Stadium ]"

"[thinking about a letter he wants to write] Dear Mom, I arrived in New York, safe and sound. [a mugger jumps out from behind a bus, beats up Joe and takes some of his belongings] Dear Mom, I arrived in New York, safe and sound... (a second mugger a short distance away does the same thing) Dear Mom, I arrived in New York- [a third mugger does the same thing too] Dear Mom... [the last mugger holds a gun at Joe's head at gunpoint] please send money!"

"Vincent Pastore - Apartment broker"

"David Huddleston - P.I. Smith"

"Shiek Mahmud-Bey - Vladimir Bianco"

"Jim Sterling - Jesus Bianco"

"Don Ho - Alberto Bianco"

"Robert Vaughn - Senator Dougherty"

"Sandra Denton - Blank"

"Jim Turner - Walter Shit"

"Megan Ward - Lily Dougherty"

"Jerry O'Connell - Joe F. Grotowski"

"Sex Bugs Rock 'n Roll."

"[trying to distract a cat with a comedy act] Anyone here from New Jersey? What exit? Bada-bing!"

"Giving up?! What made roaches outlast the dinosaurs? Because roaches never give up! They can stomp us, they can pop us, but they'll never ever stop us! And one day, the Great H bomb's gonna drop, and we'll have the whole stinkin' planet to ourselves!"

"Your apartment? I believe we were here first. And we'll be here last too. We've gotta long-time lease on this planet."

"A rent-controlled apartment is one where the rent's been frozen since like the forties. But places like that are hard to find because no one ever leaves them. Unless their landlord's give them a little help."

"[after Joe fails to impress anyone with his drumming skills] I'm sorry, there's not gonna be any rock n roll tonight. This is all that's left! This is all that's left of the rolling thunder of America's heartbeat!"

"I need you to fill in for my drummer this Saturday. He's dead."

"[after saving Ralph's life from the cat] Yeah? Well, stop following me to work already! For god's sake."

"Paul Bartel - National Endowment for the Arts scout"

"Richard "Moby" Hall"

"Ann Marie Lee - Dr. Jainway"

"Frank C. Turner - Shepard"

"John Getz - Stathis Borans"

"Lee Richardson - Anton Bartok"

"Daphne Zuniga - Beth Logan"

"Eric Stoltz - Martin Brundle"

"[from TV spot] Hush, little baby, don't be sad. You'll grow up to be like Dad. Hush, little baby, don't you cry, just because your Dad was the Fly..."

"A new generation of terror!"

"Like father, like son."

"[grabs some of the sticky substance that is growing over his skin] Beth, if you stay with me, I'll show you a magic trick you'll never forget."

"[cornered by the "Martinfly"] Martin, I know you can understand me. Don't do anything rash. I won't hesitate to kill you in a second if I have to. [shoots him once, aims at Beth when he notices her moving, then shoots "Martinfly" again, causing him to collapse on the floor, whimpering] I almost wish it didn't have to end like this. Bye, Martin. ["Martinfly" suddenly grabs and squeezes his hand, forcing him to drop the gun as he tries to shoot again]"

"[on videotaped notes that Martin watches] It's possible that the teleporter somehow... improved me. Theoretically, it might have seen where things could be improved, and it did it. I told it to be creative, and...I dunno, maybe it has been..."