"Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (Russ's tenth film) is, beyond a doubt, the best movie ever made. It is possibly better than any film that will be made in the future."

"Women! They let 'em vote, smoke and drive – even put 'em in pants! And what happens? A Democrat for president! A bunch of smoke up your chimney! Russian roulette on the highways! Can't even tell brother from sister, unless you meet 'em up close."

"You girls a bunch of nudists, or are you just short of clothes?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to violence, the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!"

"[to Varla] You're a beautiful animal... and I'm weak, and I want you."

"[to Rosie as she fumbles with a lighter] Easy baby, you're almost a fire hazard."

"She is The Money!"

"I never try anything. I just do it. And I don't beat clocks, just people. Wanna try me?"

"We don't like anything soft. Everything we do is hard."

"Alright, you wash... now I'm gonna spin-a-dry you!"

"Oh, you're cute... like a velvet glove cast in iron."

"You really should be AM and FM. You one-band broads are a drag!"

"I'm of legal age for whiskey, voting and loving. Now the next election is two years away, and my love life ain't getting much better, so how about some of that one-hundred-percent!"

"You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime."

"There's juice freaks, and pill freaks, and then everybody's a freak! What you need is grass or a downer or something."

"For I am Superwoman, and you have spurned her!"

"Ere this night does wane, you will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!"

"And you, the infamous Ashley St. Ives, high priestess of carnality, what thou think of our fair minstrels?"

"[stumbling upon a couple having sex at his party] Glad to see my audience in such happy dalliance. Pray, let them joust in peace!"

"[showing Kelly around the party] Observe in yon quiet corner: an island of tranquility in a sea of revelry. The languid Roxanne finds beauty, that delicate pinch of feminine spice, with which she oftens flavors her interludes. Ah, look there, Lance Rocke! Greek god and part-time actor. See how well he performs? His is a special talent. The golden hair, the bedroom eyes, the firm young body. These are the tools with which he plies his trade. All are available for a price..."

"Come on, man. I doubt if you'd recognize a hippie. I'm a capitalist, baby. I work for my living, not suck off somebody else."

"When does ANY party start? When you get there!"

"In a scene like this you get a contact-high!"

"John Furlong - the Narrator"

"Mickey Foxx - the Gas Station Attendant"

"Tell a person that you're the Metatron, and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody's a theology scholar! May I continue uninterrupted?"

"Alan Rickman – Metatron"

"(Last words) But l'm a fucking demon."

"Linda Fiorentino – Bethany Sloane"

"No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air."

"Matt Damon – Loki"

"Ben Affleck – Bartleby"

"Look out Below"

"Prepare Thyself."

"Faith is a funny thing."

"It Can Be Hell Getting Into Heaven"

"Get "touched" by an angel."

"PA Announcer: [at St. Michael's hospital] I repeat: this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion. Thank you. l repeat."

"So you were an artist? Big deal. Elvis was an artist, but that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. That's why he's the King, and you're a schmuck."

"The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks."

"Alanis Morissette – God"

"Janeane Garofalo – Liz"

"George Carlin – Cardinal Glick"

"Kevin Smith – Silent Bob"

"Jason Mewes – Jay"

"Salma Hayek – Serendipity"