"Victor Sr.: You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference."

"When the lights go down, the world is yours."

"A weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend."

"Tony Denman - Track Suit Guy"

"Gay men are so hot. It's tragic."

"Is that morphine in there? God, beats the hell out of aspirin."

"I'm a married man, I'm not used to this much attention."

"Oh no! Not in Big Momma's house!"

"[on the phone] Yeah, he knows what he's doing. [faces Malcolm immediately afterwards] What the hell are you doing?"

"[upon seeing Sherry in her underwear] Oooo ma damn!"

"Somebody better tell me something, 'cause this sho' is some freaky shit."

"Martin Lawrence as Malcolm Turner"

"Nia Long as Sherry Pierce"

"Paul Giamatti as John Maxwell"

"Michelle Ang - Mia"

"Portia Doubleday - Jasmine"

"Jessica Lynch - Haley Robinson"

"Tony Curran - Chirkoff"

"Jascha Washington as Trent Pierce Turner"

"Martin Lawrence - Malcolm Turner/Big Momma"

"Faizon Love - Kurtis Kool"

"Brandon T. Jackson - Trent Pierce/Charmaine Pierce"

"Emily Procter as Leah Fuller"

"Kat Dennings as Molly Fuller"

"Mark Moses as Tom Fuller"

"Chloë Grace Mortez as Carrie Fuller"

"Nia Long as Sherry Pierce Turner"

"Marisol Nichols as Liliana Morales"

"Ana Ortiz - Gail Fletcher"

"Zachary Levi as Kevin Keneally"

"Nicole Prescott as Lena"

"Cedric the Entertainer as the Reverend"

"Tichina Arnold as Ritha"

"Carl Wright as Ben Rawley"

"Phyliss Applegate as Sadie"