"To some people cricket is a circus show upon which they may or may not find it worth while to spend sixpence. To others it is a cult and a philosophy, and these last will neve be understood by the profanum vulgus, nor by the merchant-minded nor by the unphysically intellectual."

"If you have a love for the game of cricket, whether you are a player, an ex-player or simply an onlooker, many will be the pleasures in your life."

"Pakistan is where I'm from - it was where I was born, it was where I was brought up. I've got a lot of affection towards Pakistan."

"My tactic would be to take a quick single and observe him from the other end."

"We were brought up watching opening batsmen score nine before lunch. If Geoffrey Boycott flashed at a ball outside off stump in the first over of a Test match, questions were asked in Parliament. If he flashed at two, the ravens abandoned the Tower of London."

"He can be so rude to people that sometimes you just want to punch his lights out."

"This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? The players suffer from their mistakes, but no one ever seems to get rid of the umpires themselves. Being an umpire is a people job: that's why Dickie Bird was good at it. Yes, he was a loony, and he made mistakes - everyone does. But he knew how to deal with people, so they respected him."

"He's a lovely guy, that Ricky Ponting. He likes the English so much he changed the series for them with the most stupid decision he'll ever make in his life."

"If my mum was alive she could captain England to play West Indies... hopeless, aren't they?"

"To have some idea what it's like, stand in the outside lane of a motorway, get your mate to drive his car at you at 95 mph and wait until he's 12 yards away, before you decide which way to jump."

"They should cut Joel Garner off at the knees to make him bowl at a normal height."

"(James) Anderson has a gift from the gods: he could swing an orange."

"I once admitted—to my shame— That football was a brutal game. Because She hates it."

"Her reasoning is full of tricks And butterfly suggestions, I know no point to which she sticks; She begs the simplest questions, And, when her premises are strong She always draws her inference wrong."

"Real Christians revel in desperate ventures for Christ, expecting from God great things and attempting the same with exhilaration."

"He is possibly the only bowler to have played in a Test series as an automatic choice without taking a wicket."