"[Turned into Captain America] Oh, this is much better. Ooh! Costume's a bit much; it's so tight. But the confidence! I can feel the righteousness surging! Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth, honor, patriotism? God bless America- [Thor covers his mouth]"

"There was darkness..."

"Jonah Bobo – Austin"

"Gianna Bruzzese – Tasha"

"Jordan Coleman – Tyrone"

"Jake Goldberg – Pablo"

"LaShawn Tináh Jefferies – Uniqua"

"Rene Russo – Frigga"

"Jaimie Alexander – Sif"

"Zachary Levi – Fandral"

"Ray Stevenson – Volstagg"

"Kat Dennings – Darcy Lewis"

"Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje – Algrim / Kurse"

"Get the word out that I'm building an evil army."

"Dave, your father loved you. Just like my daddy loved me. And I know it hurts. But maybe-maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero. It's taking that pain and turning it into something good. Something right. Remember what you told me? "This is your life. You got to live it." Now help me find some pliers. I'm gonna make this guy eat his own dick."

"You know all that homophobic shit makes you sound super gay."

"This isn’t a costume, it’s who you really are."

"Are you afraid you're not gonna grow into your big boy's pants?"

"Pull over, Pukeface!"

"This 15 year old girl just owned your ass."

"Maybe I’ll jam my foot up your snatch."

"Avengers assemble, asshole."

"Game on, cocksuckers!"

"There’s no room for punks in suits. Just real heroes who can really kick ass."

"What is wrong with you, dude?! This is not a comic book, it's real life! When you're dead, it's done! There's no sequel!"

"You're gonna pay for what you did to my dad."

"What's the matter, Chris? Shit hit your shorts?"

"Robert Emms - Insect Man"

"Lindy Booth - Miranda Swedlow/Night-Bitch"

"Iain Glen - Ralph D'Amico"

"Garrett M. Brown - Mr. Lizewski"

"Augustus Prew - Todd Haynes/Ass-Kicker"

"Jim Carrey - Sal Bertolinni"

"John Leguizamo - Javier"

"Donald Faison - Doctor Gravity"

"Morris Chestnut - Detective Marcus Williams"

"Clark Duke - Marty Eisenberg/Battle Guy"

"Chloë Grace Moretz - Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl"

"Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Chris D'Amico/The Motherfucker"

"Aaron Taylor-Johnson - David Lizewski/Kick-Ass"

"[last words, before dying] Justice...For...ever!"

"Heh heh, yeah! There's a dog on your balls!"

"Alright, time for initiation. Turn around and I'll unzip you."

"You made this real! You started it! Now, I'm gonna finish it--I'll be immortal, like an evil Jesus."

"I'm here to end Kick-Ass--not just to kill him. I am gonna shit on everything that he loves!"

"No. No. People WANT to win the lottery, People WANT to fuck Scarlett Johansson, No one WANTS to risk their life so some moron can walk through the projects at night."

"Your dad?! You blew up my dad with a bazooka!"

"What's the point of wearing a mask if you can't do what you want?!"

"I'm gonna wipe my ass with your face!"