"Abby, you and Harper have a perfect relationship. Why do you want to ruin that by engaging in one of the most archaic institutions in the history of the human race?"

"Way to stick it to the patriarchy. Really well done."

"Have they ever met a lesbian?"

"Aubrey Plaza - Riley Johnson"

"Jake McDorman - Connor"

"Dan Levy - John"

"Everybody's story is different. Just because Harper isn't ready doesn't mean she never will be, and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"This holiday, come out and meet the family."

"This holiday, everyone’s secrets are coming out."

"Burl Moseley - Eric"

"I love you, girls. And I'm sorry for making you think that anything could ever get in the way of that. I want to do better, and it will take time, but all I want for you is to find the same joy and happiness that you have given me, no matter where it comes from."

"Isn't this the best time of the year? I mean, really."

"I started an Instagram feed for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain. Your mother's going viral!"

"[while fighting with Harper and Abby wants to interfere]: You stay out of this, Sappho!"

"The money doesn't matter. When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us."

"[to her parents]: Eric and I are getting a divorce. We separated a few months ago. And the truth is I didn’t tell you because without my family I’m worthless to you. We’ve spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, and I’m done, too."

"[after Abby is introduced to him as Harper's orphan friend]: Yes, of course. It's terrible. [pats her shoulder] There, there."

"Mary Holland - Jane Caldwell"

"We have been so worried about seeming perfect, but maybe we don't even know what perfect is. We have one daughter who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us! And another daughter who just had her heart broken because she was afraid we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth. And the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool. That is very far from perfect, if you ask me."

"One big secret, two terrible liars."

"Amanda Plummer - Ellen James"

"Jenny Wright - Cushie"

"Brandon Maggart - Ernie Holm"

"Warren Berlinger - Stew Percy"

"Mark Soper - Michael Milton"

"Jessica Tandy - Mrs. Fields"

"Robin Williams - T.S. Garp"

"[telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man killed her! They're very upset!"

"Mary Beth Hurt - Helen Holm"

"Glenn Close - Jenny Fields"

"You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life."

"We'll take the house. Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here."

"[after being told he shouldn't go to his Mom's feminist memorial] I will grieve alone for the rest of my life, but right now I want to be around people who loved her."

"[to his infant son in baby carriage] Don't be a baby, Duncan! Say da-da! [Duncan blows raspberry at Garp]"

"John Lithgow - Roberta Muldoon"

"Men die young in my family, Helen!"

"Swoosie Kurtz - The Hooker"

"Hume Cronyn - Mr. Fields"

"Peter Michael Goetz - John Wolf"

"Radha Mitchell as Isabelle "Izzy" Sorenson"

"I'm late, which is ironic, because I started out 9 hours and 23 minutes early."

"Josh Hartnett as Donald Morton"

"J. K. Simmons - Bill"

"Finn Wittrock - Greg Earnest"

"Emma Stone - Mia Dolan"

"John Legend - Keith"

"Tom Everett Scott - David"

"Rosemarie DeWitt - Laura Wilder"