"[After the opening credits] Once upon a time—in 1941 to be exact—there lived in a great, tall forest—called New York--eight men who were writing an encyclopedia. They were so wise they knew everything. The depth of the oceans, and what makes a glowworm glow, and what tune Nero fiddled while Rome was burning. But there was one thing about which they knew very little--as you shall see..."

"Riotous but tender comedy of a professor so anxious to learn the slang pf a hep-cat queen that she puts his heart in a sling!"

"The riotous but tender comedy of a slang-hunter professor, baffled by the words, but a sucker for the wiles of a hot-spot Queen of Jive who used his study as a hide-out!"

"The New Year's red-hot comedy!"

"I LOVE HIM because he doesn't know how to kiss -- THE JERK!"

"Professor Magenbruch: Maybe my data on sex is a little outdated, too."

"Professor Gurkakoff: [discovering Sugarpuss gave back the wrong ring] The subconscious never makes a mistake. She gave you the ring she didn't want - his ring - and she kept the one she wanted - yours."

"Miss Bragg: That is the kind of woman that makes whole civilizations topple!"

"You know, I was kinda counting on Sugarpuss to tell ya the score. Trouble is, she's all right givin' out with the twists and the wisecracks, but when it comes to leveling off she gets chicken."

"Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... would you, eh, yum me just once more?"

"[to Sugarpuss] I shall regret the absence of your keen mind. Unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body."

"We're working under pressure. After nine years of effort, we are, as the race track enthusiast might say, in the home stretch. Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter S."

"[about Potts] Yes, I love him. I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs and the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. Looks like a giraffe, and I love him. I love him because he's the kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk, and I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. Love him because he doesn't know how to kiss, the jerk!"

"Who is that guy who learned so much from watching an apple drop?"

"Claudette Colbert — Geraldine 'Gerry' Jeffers"

"Robert Dudley — Wienie King"

"Dewey Robinson — Fifth Member Ale and Quail Club"

"Roscoe Ates — Fourth Member Ale and Quail Club"

"Robert Greig — Third Member Ale and Quail Club"

"Jack Norton — Second Member Ale and Quail Club"

"William Demarest — First Member Ale and Quail Club"

"Victor Potel — Mr. McKeewie"

"Jimmy Conlin — Mr. Asweld, Ale and Quail Club"

"Torben Meyer — Dr. Kluck"

"Arthur Stuart Hull — Mr. Osmond"

"Robert Warwick — Mr. Hinch, Ale and Quail Club"

"Sig Arno — Toto"

"Rudy Vallée — John D. Hackensacker III a.k.a. "snoodles""

"Mary Astor — The Princess Centimillia"

"Joel McCrea — Tom Jeffers ('Capt. McGlew')"

"You will care for me, though. I grow on people. Like moss."

"Of course, I'm crazy, I'll marry anybody."

"Look at that very handsome man. I wonder who he is. I don't think I've seen him around before. I thought I knew all the handsome men in this village."

"Hello, Snoodles, where'd you get the pretty girl?"

"Captain, we should have met sooner, and if I'd seen you around, we would have!"

"That's my wife, you dumb cluck!"

"You know Maude, somebody meeting you for the first time, not knowing you were cracked, might get the wrong impression of you."

"Tipping is un-American."

"That's one of the tragedies of this life - that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous."

"Staterooms are un-American."

"No, I'm not my grandfather, of course. He's dead, anyway."

"Chivalry is not only dead, it's decomposed."

"You're not being rude, dear, you're just being yourself."

"You're married to me; that's like saying, you're blind to me. For a long time, I've been a part of you, just something to snuggle up to and keep you warm at night, like a blanket, but you can't see me any more than you can see the back of your neck."

"You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything."

"I don't begin and end with a smelter, you know."

"Well, you know we don't love each other anymore. We're just habits, bad habits...And when love's gone, there's nothing left but admiration and respect."

"[after a waitress pours water in his lap] No extra charge for the cold shower I hope."

"[to a pretty girl] Hi ya tootie-pie. Everything under control? [the girl's boyfriend punches him] All five of 'em hit me at once."

"Mona Barrie - The Producer's Wife, Mrs. Pangborn"