Warren Farrell

"We think of the division of labor as being outdated, but in fact it has reemerged. In the early ‘80s, a mother was 43 times more likely than the father to leave the workplace for family responsibilities; more recently, a mom is 135 times more likely to leave the workplace for family responsibilities."

"Women are socialized to take advantage of four informal options for emotional support: husbands; womenfriends; children; and parents. Men are socialized to take advantage of only one of these informal options: their wife or womanfriend."

"Men tend to put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their wives (or womenfriends), it is difficult for a man to communicate feelings of disappointment to his wife because, if she withdraws, it feels to him like his entire emotional support system has collapsed."

"After a conflict, women are not only more likely to turn to other womenfriends for support, but are nine times more likely to be with their children should conflict become divorce."

"A woman living with her mother has limited freedom; a man living with his mother has limited freedom and limited respect. For most men, the vacuum (of no support system) is so devastating, they’d rather agree with their wife than express their feelings and risk emotional withdrawal."

"After divorce, women’s biggest fear is economic deprivation; men’s biggest fear is emotional deprivation."

"Divorce laws have given women economic support after divorce; no laws have given men emotional support after divorce. Men are required to continue their obligations to their exes in the form of alimony or child support; women are not required to continue their obligation to their exes in the form of homemaking or nurturing."

"We had affirmative action programs to help women help themselves economically. Is it now time for affirmative action programs to do for men’s feelings what the government did for women’s economics?"

"By the mid-’90s, the anger at men had become so palpable that even sedate publications like The Economist were characterizing women’s vs. men’s workload as “A woman’s work is never done; a man is drunk from sun to sun.”"

"What is the impact on our children of this international “Sisterhood is Victimhood” bonding?"

"Hochschild’s biggest mistake, though, was one made by almost every popularized housework study: not adequately measuring men’s contribution to work around the home. For example, if mom drives the children to daycare, it’s called housework; if dad drives the family to grandma’s, it isn’t called housework."

"Notice that much of what men do is also done by single mothers so appreciating what men do also helps us appreciate what single moms do."

"The best way to use these lists to replace anger with love in real life is to nurture each other by doing for your partner what your partner normally does for you."

"Even men who share their personal experiences find that, instead of empathy, they get the response Dear Abby gave this man: “Women have it worse.” This belief is so strong that over the past quarter century, women’s old fantasy of marrying a man-as-protector has been tainted by women’s new nightmare of husband-as-batterer."

"If we believe that it is predominantly men who batter women, it is hard to see why women also need to change: We will continue saying, “Just change the men. They’re the batterers.”"

"Four men describe how their wives hit them in the lower back with a pole, cracked them over the head or in the neck with a frying pan...the audience renews its laughter after each story. The men are part of a “PMS Men’s Support Group.” Imagine an audience of men laughing as battered women describe how their husbands threatened them with brain or spinal cord injuries by battering them over their heads or in their necks with a frying pan."

"All of these battered husbands are still with their wives. When a woman stays with a man who batters, we provide shelters to encourage her to escape. If she decides not to escape, we say she is a victim of “Battered Woman Syndrome.""

"The emphasis of the men’s group was on understanding, coping, changing the situation and then, if all else failed, getting out; the emphasis of battered women’s groups is on getting out first, and second, locking up the problem (the man)."

"In brief, when women batter, men’s first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women’s first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison."

"The motto of feminists: “There is never an excuse for hitting a woman.” Shouldn’t it be, “There is never an excuse for hitting.”?"

"Sitcoms routinely portray women hitting men, almost never portray men hitting women. When he fails to leave, it is not called “Battered Man Syndrome”; it is called comedy."

"Note the men’s fear that if they reported this to the authorities, not only would they not be believed, they would be ridiculed."

"Men learn to call pain “glory”; women learn to call the police."

"Why did virtually every culture reward its men for enduring violence? So it would have a cadre of people available to protect it in war."

"The people considered the most in need of protection were women and children. The sex considered most disposable was men – or males...."

"The more a man is trained to “be a man,” the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child."

"We often think that when a man insults another man by calling him a “girl,” the insult reflects a contempt for women. No. It reflects a contempt for any man who is unwilling to make himself strong enough to protect someone as precious as a woman."

"The ridicule is pressure to consider ourselves less important than someone even more precious: A baby is more precious than a mother; a woman is more precious than a man."

"Those feminists who say that masculinity is about men believing they can batter women display the deepest ignorance possible about men and masculinity."

"What Men Would Say When Male-Bashing Is Called “Funny,” But Female-Bashing Is Called “Sexist”"

"Misandry – or man hating – is the equivalent of misogyny. If you are unaware of misandry, welcome to the club."

"A week after you read this chapter, misandry will become apparent in commercials, in films, in everyday conversations. But the bias that is hardest to see is the bias we share."

"Even allegedly gender-neutral words like “sexist” imply slights only against women."

"Men’s life expectancy was one year less than women’s in 1920; today, it is seven years less, yet the federal government has only an Office of Research on Women’s Health."

"The function of gossip is to create an “in group” bond by creating an “out group” enemy."

"Look under the “Love and Friendship” section and see dozens of cards designed for women to send to women, most bashing men, and virtually none saying anything loving about men."

"If there is one quality that I find is more essential to a successful and happy life than any other, it is empathy. It is at the core of family stability and love. I’ve never had a couple come to me and say, “I want a divorce; my partner understands me.”"

"Teaching the child to treat boundaries seriously teaches the child to respect the rights and needs of others. Thinking of another’s needs creates empathy."

"Students coming from father-present families score higher in math and science even when they come from weaker schools."

"The more the father is involved, the more easily the child makes open, receptive, and trusting contact with new people in its life."

"We often hear that mothers do the caring; fathers just do the playing. This is a false dichotomy -- even a dangerous one -- because fathers’ particular style of play involves both a conscious focus on teaching and, as the research is now showing, is instructive to children even when it is not consciously designed to be so."

"A family that knows how to play together has the tools to stay together."

"Industrialization created the “Father’s Catch-22”: a dad loving his children by being away from the love of his children."

"The Industrial Revolution, then, took men’s occasional absence from home -- previously needed only in wartime and for hunting -- and made it the norm. This increasing division of labor magnified the division of men’s and women’s interests. It magnified the belief in the maternal instinct and the reality of the distant father. Prior to industrialization, divorces usually led to children living with dads. Not after."

"Wenn Männer sieben Jahre länger leben würden als Frauen, hätten uns Feministen längst klargemacht, dass die Lebenserwartung der beste Indikator ist, an dem sich ablesen läßt, wer die Macht hat. Und damit hätten sie recht."

"Warum haben weibliche Gottheiten die Gewalt gegen Männer gesegnet? Weil der eigentliche Zweck dieser Gewalt darin bestand, Gewalt gegen Frauen zu verhindern."

"Gesetze und religiöse Regeln gaben einer Frau fast immer elementare Sicherheit, auch wenn ein Mann die Scheidung wollte. Das Scheidungsverbot galt als „Gottes Wille“ („Was Gott verbunden hat, das soll der Mensch nicht trennen.“), und damit hatten Frauen eine unanfechtbare Garantie. Die Ehe-als-Sakrament war das weibliche „göttliche Recht“."

"Die privilegierteste Gruppe, die es je in der Geschichte gab, ist die weiße Amerikanerin der Mittelklasse."

"Die Herausforderung besteht darin, über den Feminismus hinauszugehen, ohne seine Errungenschaften herabzusetzen."