First Quote Added
aprile 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Adrian Edmondson: "Ooh, what a lovely spread.""
"Adrian Edmondson: "Smack the bottom really hard and see if anything comes out.""
"Adrian Edmondson: "But remember to chew every mouthful.""
"Miles Jupp: "Just ten more minutes, the meat really needs to rest.""
"Miles Jupp: "I always find it a bit strange eating here.""
"Caroline Quentin: "Well this is a complete waste of a Saturday.""
"Tony Hawks: "Coming in a flatpack wasn't quite what I had in mind.""
"Henning Wehn: "I think you've given me something you shouldn't have.""
"Miles Jupp: "You don't want one of those dangling too low or the cat will have them off with their claws.""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "Someone's in luck, I've hidden a sixpence inside.""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "I am so sorry, I should've put it in much earlier!""
"Miles Jupp: "I can't wait for the binmen to come...""
"Miles Jupp: "Well, I thought the vicar put on a very good show.""
"Henning Wehn: "Well I suppose it's the thought that counts.""
"Miles Jupp: "Oh, I see, it's a sort of miniature tool.""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "Stick a bit of tinsel on the top, that usually perks it up.""
"Henning Wehn: "Well, that's it for another year...""
"Gary Delaney: "Turn over now, please!""
"Rory Bremner: "Miss Wilson showed us this last term.""
"Pippa Evans: "Excuse me, when I'm finished, I'm allowed 15 minutes on my own.""
"Gary Delaney: "There was a lot to take in, but somehow I managed it!""
"Rory Bremner: "I'll need another sheet.""
"Lucy Porter: "I'll need you to shine a torch so I can see where I'll be sitting.""
"Harry Enfield: "Scared, Potter?""
"Lucy Porter: "Show me the money!""
"Harry Enfield: "Here's Johnny!""
"Harry Enfield: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!""
"Marcus Brigstocke: "This is Gold Leader, I'm going in.""
"Jack Dee: "Young Nigel earned a stern reproof for doing cartwheels on the roof...""
"Jack Dee: "A naughty little lad called Dave would hide inside the microwave...""
"Jack Dee: "'I see dead people!' claimed young Cole, which made his mother drop her bowl...""
"Jack Dee: "One day a small girl called Sophia climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""
"Jack Dee: "Though often warned, a boy called Rex still tampered with electric flex...""
"Jack Dee: "In spite of warnings, little Stu would taunt the lions in the zoo...""
"Jack Dee: "The infant Mike had such bad genes, he lived on top shelf magazines...""
"Tony Hawks: "A fantasy epic on BBC now, with a tale spanning multiple worlds, in which a threatening godlike figure suffers several bouts of sexually transmitted infections. That's His Dark Venereals on BBC Three.""
"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, Chris Hemsworth is back in the Marvel crossover that's also a sequel to Frozen - Thaw.""
"Gary Delaney: "Next on BBC Two, Dara Ó Briain is back as the host of the quickfire topical panel show for Chinese cannibals who eat the shy. It's Wok the Meek. ...if you could hear the footsteps going all round the houses to get to that one!""
"Pippa Evans: "On ITV at eight o'clock, mystery guests sing songs while wearing elaborate masks, before a celebrity jury attempts to guess which is the least attractive. That's The Masked Minger at eight o'clock.""
"Rory Bremner: "Later on Radio 4, a new series in which Kirsty Lang travels to each region of the UK in an attempt to find the country's finest sperm bank. That's Round Britain Jizz, this Friday at 11.30.""
"Tony Hawks: "Next on ITV a new game show, giving contestants a chance to win an any of an amazing selection of panty liners. That's The Sale of the Sanitary, next.""
"Jack Dee: "Belinda made her parents vexed for all she ever did was text...""
"Jack Dee: "'I think I shall try six', said Fred, 'electric blankets on my bed'...""
"Miles Jupp: "Coming up this evening, Ben Fogle takes his fossil hammer to Dorset's Jurassic coast on a hunt for the perfect ammonite. That's Cracking One Out with Ben Fogle, later this evening.""
"Stephen Fry: "And talking of piers, Piers Morgan and Katie Hopkins visit Oxford to examine the Reverend Spooner's passion for the repair and maintenance of the city's traditional watercraft. That's Care of Punts, coming soon.""
"Stephen Fry: "Meanwhile on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock takes command of a squad of Coldstream Guards as they completely returf an entire rugby pitch in time for their crunch match against the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. That's Sod This for a Game of Soldiers.""
"Stephen Fry: "And tomorrow on Radio 4, Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm asks 'can owning a sheepdog cure depression?' That's Mel and Collie, later on Radio 4.""
"Miles Jupp: "Later on Radio 4, Bear Grylls recounts the story of the large shrimp that accidentally attached itself to his private parts. That's Bear Grylls' Prawn Cocktail, tonight at 10.15.""
"Pippa Evans: "Richard Hammond travels round Britain to celebrate our seaside towns. That's Top Pier.""
"Tony Hawks: "Coming up next on BBC One, the crime drama set on a well-known Scottish archipelago, now sadly polluted by sewage discharge. That's Shitland, tonight at nine.""