American Pie (film)

"You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us."

"I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking use them?"

"I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section", right?"

"I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of...masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it "stroking the salami". Yeah, you know, "pounding the old pud". [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he "pets the one-eyed snake" 5-6 times a day."

"No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!"

"There's something about your first piece."

"Come again!"

"Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets pie."

"Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein"

"Chris Klein - Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher"

"Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers"

"Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty"

"Shannon Elizabeth - Nadia"

"Tara Reid - Vicky Lathum"

"Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch"

"Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler"

"Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad"

"Natasha Lyonne - Jessica"

"Mena Suvari - Heather"

"Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom"

"Chris Owen - Chuck Sherman"