"[on entering his newly rented apartment] All right, listen up. If there are any bugs in here, or rats, or anything that has more legs than I do, you just stay on your side of the room, okay? I'll stay on mine. I should warn you, I'm packing an iron."

"Please God, help me get out of this. I swear I'll go all over the world telling people not to screw the boss's wife."

"Michael J. Fox - Brantley Foster"

"Helen Slater - Christy Wills"

"Richard Jordan - Howard Prescott"

"Annette Bening as Kate Craig"

"Robert Prosky as Wally"

"Anna Chlumsky - Liza Weld"

"James Gandolfini - Lieutenant General Miller"

"Mimi Kennedy - Karen Clark"

"David Rasche - Linton Barwick"

"Tom Hollander - Simon Foster"

"Chris Addison - Toby Wright"

"Paul Higgins - Jamie McDonald"

"Gina McKee - Judy Molloy"

"What did you expect? They're BUILDERS! Have-- have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? No? No, because they never FUCKING TURN UP IN THE NICK OF TIME! Batbuilder? Spider-builder? Huh? That's why you never see a superhero with a hod!"

"Chad: You couldn't write a paper that clashes more with the current climate if you were trying. And it seems like you almost were trying."

"Y'know me, Malc. Kid gloves, but made from real kids."

"General Miller: This is the problem with civilians wanting to go to war. Once you've been there, once you've seen it, you never want to go again unless you absolutely fucking have to. [pause] It's like France."

"Good luck at the Foreign Office, try not to annoy Russia."

"Peter Capaldi - Malcolm Tucker"

"James Smith - Michael Rodgers"

"It's a bit manic, it's not like Agriculture. People rarely get this swear-y about wheat."

"[to the Passer-by] Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck!"

"They're all kids in Washington. It's like Bugsy Malone but with real guns."

"[to Linton Barwick] You know, I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as fucking boring as you! I mean, you are a real boring fuck! Sorry, I know you disapprove of the swearing, so I'll sort that. You are a boring F-star-star-CUNT."

"[about Jamie MacDonald] You know, my theory is that Malcolm built him in a lab out of bits of old psychopaths."

"You sure you're working as hard as me? 'Cause I'm sweating spinal fluid here! I'm a fucking husk!"

"[to Simon Foster] You know, if I could, I'd fucking punch you into paralysis!"

"I really hope there isn't a war. It's gonna be a nightmare; it's bad enough dealing with the fucking Olympics."

"[to Sir Jonathan Tutt] Mr Ambassador, with your big baldy head, you are spoiling us!"

"[to Simon Foster] In the words of the late great Nat King fucking Cole, unforeseeable, that's what you are."

"We've got enough Pentagon goons to stage a fucking coup d'etat."

"Yeah, diarrhea of a nobody. Yeah, I like that."

""Climb the mountain of conflict"? You know what you sounded like? You sounded like a fucking Nazi Julie Andrews!"

"Christ on a bendy-bus, Simon, don't be such a fucking faff-arse."

"Meeting my constituents? It's like being Simon Cowell but without the ability to say "Fuck off, you're mental.""

"[to Simon Foster] I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide."

"Olivia Poulet - Suzy"

"Kieran Culkin - Matty Banks"