"If he suddenly falls in love with someone else, a husband may not start wanting a divorce; but if he suddenly makes a lot of money, he usually will."

"We all become great explorers during our first few days in a new city, or a new love affair."

"We are irritated by rascals, intolerant of fools, and prepared to love the rest. But where are they?"

"There are whole years for which I hope I’ll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi."

"Spring, summer, and fall fill us with hope; winter alone reminds us of the human condition."

"The know-nothings are, unfortunately, seldom the do-nothings."

"It's impossible to be loyal to your family, your friends, your country, and your principles, all at the same time."

"I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice."

"Life marks us all down, so it's just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves."

"My thoughts, I guess, are bitter; who but the bitter have thoughts?"

"A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him."

"The real is very real to him, the unreal even more so."

"I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine."

"On stage and off, we care what happens to a beautiful woman, whether she can act well or not."

"Boredom is often the cause of promiscuity and always its result."

"If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject."

"Groups of girls are pretty, or not; they are seldom mixed."

"Beauty often fades, but seldom so swiftly as the joy it gives us."

"We all dream of being the darling of everybody's darling."

"Nostalgia for what we have lost is more bearable than nostalgia for what we have never had, for the first involves knowledge and pleasure, the second only ignorance and pain."

"If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn't be so anxious."

"What you can't get out of, get into whole-heartedly."

"Anything you lose automatically doubles in value."

"It does not undo harm to acknowledge that we have done it; but it undoes us not to acknowledge it."

"The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next."

"Courage can't see around corners but goes around them anyway."

"A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles."

"Between a man and a woman both aged fifty there are two full generations, for she might well wed a man in his seventies, and he a girl of twenty."

"Some women love only what they can hold in their arms; others, only what they can't."

"Any woman can talk herself into being in love with any man, for a while anyway."

"A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine."

"All love is probationary, a fact which frightens women and exhilarates men."

"Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun."

"He's in for trouble—the man whose wife is detested by all women and desired by all men."

"With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins."

"Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets."

"Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere."

"Bored with your present enemies? Make new ones! Tell two of your women friends that they look alike."

"Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls."

"Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man."

"A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer."

"Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible they are right."