"Sometimes I wish I could be a lesbian, you know? Like, I have spent my whole life chasing men, like they're gonna come in and fix all my problems. They're men. I mean, think about it. There are no girl rapists or serial killers... except for that chick they made a movie about, but that doesn't count, 'cause she looked like a dude."

"Tell her you're sick. You will learn far more from me than you will learn from the US education system."

"Jason Biggs – Mr Spines"

"I'm a rebel, and I go on until someone stops me."

"It's the most important day of your life, try not to think about it."

"Hailey: Hey, ehm... so you guys think we're gonna be like Amy? Girl #1: Like... Happy? Hailey: No, like ehm.. were do you think we'll go? Girl #1: You think too much."

"It looks like he's having a panick attack! (Boy #2)"

"[reading the holographic card from Amy] Girl #1: "Gwen, I'm so good. Life is so good. Honestly, everything is so good. Love, your sister Amy." [...] Girl #2: Wow! Being older is like really good. Girl #1: Well, soon we will be too. Some of us are close to seventeen."

"Hailey: Are we gonna be late? Girl #1: Yeah. That's the idea. We don't wanna rush a day we're gonna remember for the rest of our lives.[...] Girl #2: Hello? We want to be late! Hailey: Right..."

"No milk in the car! (Boy #1)"

"When they invented mathematics they took a picture of the sky and they flip it around and they had sponges back then so they put a sponge right down on the picture and then expanded it. And that's... That's the beginning of everything. That's actually how they invented the vacuum too. (Bearded man)"

"Hailey: The whole thing is just kinda strange. If you think about it just make me kind of uncomfortable. Girl #1: Don't you just love the food there? Hailey: Yeah. I love the food at Monty's."

"I was 20 years old when I saw my first... oyster. Oysters make pearls. Pearls go on necklaces. Boys and girls wear necklaces. So necklaces are in jewelryes. Jewlers occupy shopping districts. Shopping distristcs are occasionally converted into malls. My uncle owns a mall. I don't like my uncle. (Bearded man)"

"Dad: Daniel! Daniel, it's me, dad. I went by the campus and I didn't see you. Daniel: Hi dad. Dad: We're all here having dinner. Daniel: What? Dad: Were all here having dinner! Haley's here. She's gonna be sticking around. [...] Mom: Is he wearing his coat? Dad: Daniel, are you wearing your coat? [...] Dad: Are you there Daniel? Daniel: I really can't hear you. Dad: It was good to hear from you, Daniel. Daniel: Hello. Dad: Bye bye."

"Alexandra Krosney as Diana Malloy"

"Denyse Tontz as Alice Keefe"

"Brendan Miller as Snake"

"Eli Vargas as Riley Johnson"

"Jon Kent Ethridge as A.J. Perkins"

"Daniel Samonas as Melvin "Meat""

"Creagen Dow as Gus"

"Jordan Black - Gary"

"Jack Coughlan - Young Fred"

"Kevin Olson - Evan Weiss"

"Mak Kriksciun - young Evan Weiss"

"Jansen Panettiere as Luke Malloy"

"John Cena - Fred's dad"

"Stephanie Courtney - Kevin's mother"

"Gary Anthony Williams - Laundromat manager"

"Jennette McCurdy as Dory Sorenson"

"Lucas Cruikshank - Fred Figglehorn"

"Jennette McCurdy - Bertha"

"Jake Weary - Kevin"

"Chris Wylde - Dam Security Guard"

"Nicholas S. Morrison as Cronie #1"

"Sean Whalen as Mr. Molesky"

"Bailee Madison as Maxine"

"Vicki Lewis as Paige"

"Jackée Harry as Lola The Lobster"

"Jessica Tuck as Mary Malloy"

"Siobhan Fallon Hogan - Hilda Figglehorn"

"Kayla Henry as Stephanie"