"[voice-over] And we didn't just stop there. Abby, Quinn and I set out to disband the Plastics once and for all. We called ourselves the Anti-Plastics. Not very original, but it got the point across. We gathered our forces. But as the Anti-Plastics grew, Mandi started recruiting for her side. It was time to break apart the founding members, starting with Chastity. So we simply tipped Principal Duvall. Her weakness: a raging libido."

"Jennifer Stone as Abby Hanover, a kind but unpopular girl who comes from a rich background and is a rival of Mandi."

"You wanna see a love life, little virgin? I'll show you."

"[voice-over] There are times in your life when you find yourself in very awkward situations. And this would be one of those moments. But I swear, it's not like I'm selling my kidney or anything. Although, that would have been less painful. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. This is my dad. Dad built engines for race cars. And so did I. Ignore the pigtails. I was more naive back then. Because of his work, I changed schools two times a year for the past eight years. This doesn't make me a loner with a highly evolved defense mechanism or anything. OK, fine, it does. Today, everything was about to change. It was my first day at North Shore High, the last stop before Carnegie Mellon University, my dream school. My rules of survival were simple: Don't stand out, never raise your hand in class and watch your back at all times. New town, same school, same parking lot. Everyone obsessed with the freedom of their first car. It's an identity, like the muscle cars who think they own the road, and check out every passing vehicle. Smart cars who don't fit in. The "I'm so perky I might shake off my tube top" cutesy cars. And then there's the most dangerous vehicle on the road, the high-performance, high-maintenance sports cars. If they liked you, your life was all green lights. If they didn't, you were nothing more than a wreck on the side of the road. At North Shore, they were called the Plastics, and Mandi Weatherly was the number one Plastic. She dotted her name with a signature heart above the "i". Probably because she didn't actually possess that organ. Her two sidekicks were Chastity Meyer, who was stupid enough to hit a home run with any boy willing to play, and Hope Plotkin, uber-hypochondriac, who believed that germs led to ugliness, and ugliness led to death. And thus, my number one rule for survival: no girl drama. Actually, no drama, period. And in high school, an already embarrassing moment can go from bad... to worse."

"As many of you know, we had a robbery last night. Now, the evidence strongly suggests that the thief was a student, because of his or her wanton disregard for school property. This student, or students, clearly degenerates, stole the money that was intended for helpless animals. Now, unless the money is returned, I have no choice but to cancel the Homecoming Dance. This is your principal, signing off for today, reminding you to stay left or right, not center."

"Meaghan Martin as Jo Mitchell, a tomboyish 18-year-old girl who shares an interest in cars with her father and must move schools at least 3 times a year because of his job."

"[voice-over] For Hope, who'd been a hypochondriac since contracting mono from a water fountain, we said goodbye to Mandi's "no bodily fluids" rule. Hope booked an emergency healing massage and seaweed facial. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the spa, and Hope ended up resembling the Wicked Witch of the West. It still hadn't faded after an entire weekend."

"[voice-over] With Chastity and Hope down, there was only one Plastic left."

"Maiara Walsh as Mandi Weatherly, a cruel, spoiled popular girl who views Abby as a rival and frequently bullies her & Jo"

"Listen. Here's something I've learned the hard way. Popularity is just some ridiculous concept that ruins people's lives. Truth is, you're the lucky ones. I'm envious of all of you. Despite being rejected, you all have stayed true to yourselves. I've always done everything in my power to fit in. And I'll admit my reasons for doing this are pathetic. My popular boyfriend leaves me for my popular best friend. Big deal, right? But it's not too late to correct the errors of my ways. I don't deserve your trust. But I do want to change things. Together we can make a statement."

"Ian Ziering as Ken Reede"

"Danielle Campbell as Maddy Datner"

"Cheri Oteri as Christine Datner"

"Death to Prom"

"#EverybodyLovesMe"

"Meg DeLacy as Felicity 'City' Stufts (as Meg Delacy)"

"Cameron Palatas as Kane"

"Jill Cimorelli as TIG / Abbey"

"Joel Courtney as Cole Reede"

"Madelaine Petsch as Marissa"

"Luke Bilyk as T.J."

"Brendan Calton as Strings / Efraim"

"Adan Allende as Mutey / Emile"

"Richard Karn as Murphy Datner"

"Michael Chey as Sweats / Larry"

"Mahi Alam – Kevin Ganatra"

"Ashley Park – Madame Park"

"Connor Ratliff – Mr. Rapp"

"Never in my 31 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. I have half a mind to cancel your Spring Fling dance!"

"– Coach Carr"

"Brian Altemus – Shane Oman"

"Now, we're not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ. But I am taking this Burn Book seriously! Now, who has something to say about this?"

"ALL JUNIOR GIRLS REPORT TO THE GYMNASIUM IMMEDIATELY!! IMMEDIATELY!!!"

"– Mrs. George"

"– Aaron Samuels"

"– Ms. Heron"

"Tina Fey – Ms. Norbury"

"– Damian Hubbard"

"– Janis Ian"

"Avantika – Karen Shetty"

"– Cady Heron"

"There's no going back."

"Oh, hell, no!! I did not go to graduate school for this!"

"– Gretchen Wieners"

"– Mr. Duvall"

"On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was."

"OMG, he's still here?!? (Mr. Duvall)"

"Plastic is forever."

"– Regina George"

"Sorry, Regina, rules are rules."