"We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show. And please remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody."

"Claire: [When asked what music is played at Bob's Country Bunker] Oh we got both kinds. We got Country and Western."

"Curtis: Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way."

"Illinois Nazi Party Leader: White men! White women! The swastika is calling you! The sacred and ancient symbol of your race since the beginning of time! The Jew is using the black as muscle against you! And you are left there, helpless. Well? What are you gonna do about it, whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us! The members of the American Socialist White People's Party. An organization of decent law-abiding white folk, just like you."

"Sister Mary Stigmata: You two are such a disappointing pair! I prayed so hard for you both. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves with filthy mouths, disgusting lies and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back...until you've redeemed yourselves."

"Police Dispatcher: Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved."