"No capers? But that's just grilled cheese. What's the point? Why don't they eat out of a trough? [He rings a counter-bell, looking around at the diner's customers] Alright! Which one of you palateless sheep sent my sandwich back?"

"Yeah, I was on top once, too. And there's only one way to go from there, and that's down, baby! Down!"

"I don't think we're dealing with an ordinary mouse."

"Pop's lucky string! That son of a bitch ate it!"

"[when Lars accidentally hits Ernie with a broom] What are you doing, ya stupid nitwit?!"

"[when Lars accidentally smacks Ernie's hand with a hammer] Are you trying to kill me?!!"

"[holding a tiny box, addressed to Fidel Castro in Havana, Cuba] Aw... I forgot to put holes in the box! [He chuckles evilly]"

"[Upon seeing the box, returned for insufficient postage] I told you, you should have weighed him."

"[Doing taste tests with the mouse] Here you go, knock yourself out. [The mouse takes a bite of the string cheese and throws it down] No good, huh? Otis, more curry! [He gives him the next string cheese] Okay, try this one. [The mouse eats it all up] Eh? It's mozzarella and herring. You can taste the herring, right? I've also got a great idea for a caviar-brie swirl and a peanut butter and jelly-provolone for the kids. But I really want to talk about marketing. You should be our spokesperson. I know some people who have used a mouse as a spokesperson and it seemed to work out pretty well..."

"[quoting his father] A world without string... is chaos."

"Ernie, It's Christmas. Instead of dwelling what we don't have. We should be thankful for what we do have."

"[explaining to Ernie how April apologized to him] She just showed up at the factory, took off her coat, and begged me to take her. We made love in a way that I've only ever seen in nature films."

"[as Ernie blasts the house apart with a shotgun] Are you crazy? You're blowing the whole house up! The only thing you haven't hit so far is the mouse! Why don't you give someone else a chance with that gun? [Ernie levels the shotgun at him, and Lars relents] You're doing a wonderful job."

"[Lars points to the hole on the floor] Look! You blew a hole in the floor!"

"The funniest movie of the year!"

"Who's hunting who?"

"The Mouse Never Dies"

"The squeak shall inherit the earth."

"You don't need to be big to be a hero."

"Nathan Lane as Ernie Smuntz"

"Lee Evans as Lars Smuntz"

"Vicki Lewis as April Smuntz"

"Maury Chaykin as Alexander Falko"

"Eric Christmas as Ernie and Lars' lawyer"

"Michael Jeter as Quincy Thorpe"

"Debra Christofferson as Ingrid"

"Camilla Søeberg as Hilde"

"Ian Abercrombie as the auctioneer"

"Annabelle Gurwitch as Roxanne Atkins"

"Eric Poppick as Theodore Plumb, the banker"

"Ernie Sabella as Maury"

"William Hickey as Rudolf Smuntz"

"Christopher Walken as Caesar"

"Cliff Emmich as Mayor McKrinkle"

"Frank Welker as Mouse, Catzilla"

"[appeals to the Clean Sweep bomber crew to call off the strike] You hear me, don't you, guys? I'll say it one last time. These people that you're going to bomb are not the enemy. We can kill the virus without killing these people. I swear on my soul that the President does not have the facts. He doesn't know we have a working serum. Oh Christ, if you think I'm lying, drop the bomb. If you think I'm crazy, drop the bomb, but don't drop the bomb just because you're following orders! What you haven't been told is that your superiors have another agenda. Don't you understand that right below you in Cedar Creek, there's a biological weapon that they've been manufacturing illegally for the last 30 years?!? Hey, I guarantee you that the disease has spread beyond the perimeters of this town! If you incinerate Cedar Creek, you incinerate the serum!!!"

"J. T. Walsh — White House Chief of Staff"

"Robert Alan Beuth — George Armistead (export clerk)"

"Diana Bellamy — Mrs. Pananides"

"Matthew Saks — Sgt. Wolf (airport dispatch)"

"Dale Dye — Lt. Col. Briggs"

"Donald Sutherland — Maj. Gen. Donald McClintock"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. — Maj. Salt"

"Kevin Spacey — Maj. Casey Schuler"

"Morgan Freeman — Brig. Gen. Billy Ford"

"Rene Russo — Robby Keough"

"Dustin Hoffman — Col. Sam Daniels"