"I didn't do such a good job, did I? What do you think? [notices Charlie looking nauseous] Hey. You OK? You need a root beer? [chuckles] Oh, wait. That's right. There's another tradition, a very important one... always check your candy."

"Dylan Baker — Principal Steven Wilkins"

"[mocking his son] "Daddy, I want to carve a pumpkin." "Daddy, I want to go to the festival." "Daddy, I wish mommy was still alive.""

"Quinn Lord - Sam/Peeping Tommy"

"Here. Help yourself. [pulls a knife out of his bag] It's for the pumpkin, not you. Promise. All of mine were dull. Ahh, smashin' jack-o'-lanterns? Stealin' candy? It's OK. Believe it or not, I was just like you when I was a kid. 'Til my dad set me straight, that is. See, my dad taught me tonight is about respecting the dead because this is the one night that the dead and all sorts of other things roam free... and pay us a visit. Sorry. All these traditions... jack-o'-lanterns, putting on costumes, handing out treats... they were started to protect us, but nowadays... no one really cares."

"Laura Mennell - Allie"

"Reporter: Werewolves, zombies and demons of every variety. They've all descended on the normally sleepy town of Warren Valley, OH. Where the holiday and all of its strange traditions are taken very seriously. It's only 8:00 and the streets are already packed with costumed visitors. Some to show off, others to blend in, but all to celebrate the magical night of Halloween. The one night a year where we can pretend to be the scariest thing we think of."

"Richard Harmon - Vampire Kid"

"Bart the Bear - The Kodiak bear"

"Eli Gabay - Jet Pilot"

"Larry Musser - Amphibian Pilot"

"David Lindstedt - James"

"Mark Kiely - The Mechanic"

"Elle Macpherson - Mickey Morse"

"That doesn't feel South, Charles."

"Anthony Hopkins - Charles Morse"

"L.Q. Jones - Styles"

"Kathleen Wilhoite - Ginny"

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

"Hey... I'm dying. I'm dying and I never did a god damn thing."

"Gordon Tootoosis - Jack Hawk"

"Kelsa Kinsly - Reporter"

"Alec Baldwin - Robert Green"

"Because today, I'm going to kill the motherfucker!"

"What one man can do, another can do!"

"Did you know you can shine shoes with the inside of a banana peel?"

"Just because you're lost doesn't mean to say that your compass is broken."

"Never feel sorry for a man who owns a plane"