"And since that day, I've been plotting my revenge waiting for the day I'd destroy the place that brought me misery. Well, that day...is TONIGHT!!! [laughs]"

"Have you seen my chicken?"

"I'm sorry, Big Al."

"All right, it's time to lose those guys."

"How about a little thing I call "Hiding in the car wash"."

"We hide in the car wash."

"That guy's turned into a real... (interrupt-ed by Mr. Chicken's clucking to avoid insulting Ted for refusing to join the Band again) I'm going to go get the bus."

"You know um... last week it was "casual Friday" at the office and I guess I forgot and I wore a tie."

"The point is that it's not unusual to feel different and... those differences always lead us to our higher purpose."

"Just remember, son the people who love you no matter what... that's your family."

"They're legends. Bearly."

"It's A Bear Getting The Family Together!"

"Christopher Walken as Reed Thimple"

"Stephen Tobolowsky as Mr. Norbert Barrington"

"Daryl Mitchell as Officer Hamm"

"M.C. Gainey as Roadie"

"Diedrich Bader as Officer Cheets"

"Alex Rocco as Rip Holland"

"Meagen Fay as Mrs. Norma Barrington"

"Eli Marienthal as Dexter Barrington"

"Jennifer Paige as Waitress"

"Jess Harnell as Long-Haired Dude"

"Paul Rugg as TV Reporter"

"Krystal as Herself"

"Don Henley as Himself"

"John Hiatt as Himself"

"Elton John as Himself"

"Queen Latifah as "Cha Cha""

"Willie Nelson as Himself"

"Bonnie Raitt as Herself"

"Brian Setzer as Himself"

"Don Was as Himself"

"Xzibit as Himself"

"Haley Joel Osment as Beary Barrington"

"Elizabeth Daily as Beary Barrington (singing voice)"

"Diedrich Bader as Ted Bedderhead"

"John Hiatt as Ted Bedderhead (singing voice)"

"Candy Ford as Trixie St. Claire"

"Bonnie Raitt as Trixie St. Claire (singing voice)"