"You're dead, Carl. You say "no" to life and therefore, you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you've had for years. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have anything close to a girlfriend. And you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs. And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui, you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate. Am I right, Carl?"

"What were you doin' in my car, you idiot?!"

"Yes is the new no! Start learning to say yes to life today!"

"Okay, If the molehill won't come to Terrence … then Terrence will come to the molehill."

"Life! We are all living it — or are we?"

"Yes to adventure."

"The word is Yes! say it a million times, say it a million more times, and the word you'd've said two-million times is… [Audience:] YES!"

"Terence Stamp as Terrence Bundley"

"Okay, maybe's fine. I like maybe."

"Don't call me past 11pm, it won't happen again. Happened once, it happened twice, it happened three times, maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe, maybe it happened six times, but it won't happen seven times. I'm not your late night booty call. Don't call me past 11 PM, it won't happen again. You can call me at 10:59 but don't call me at 11 — cause that's my rule now."

"I can't put my finger on you. You're unpredictable. Kind of mysterious."

"The old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody. I thought if I said yes to things, and got involved with people, then sooner or later they'd find out I'm not enough. I didn't think I had anything to share. But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I want to share it with you."

"Well, it's been a nice run. I might get shit-canned, Norm. Anyway, don't worry about it — I'm sure it will lead to something good."

"Not possible!"

"I know our music isn't that mainstream — I love doing it. It's like my photography. I know there isn't that much demand for blurry photographs taken while running — but ... you know, who cares? The world's a playground! You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it."

"Terrence, Don't freak out..."

"Hey, I'm just saying "yes" to life — 'cause — you gotta say "yes" to life. I'm in a secret conevant! ... that sounded naughty!"

"I got blisters on my fingers!"

"Oh come on! You're already half-way through. Just snap it off, already!"

"You ever had a Red Bull? I've never had a Red Bull before, but I had a Red Bull last night — I really like Red Bull."

"She's spontaneous. She's ballsy. She has no clue what she's doing and she doesn't care. She's the complete opposite of me."

"How do I know if anything you did was because you wanted to or because you were following some goddamn program?"

"Molly Sims as Stephanie"

"Yes always leads to something good." "Never avoid opportunities. They may come in any form."

"Getting even is a full-time job."

"They're showing the Boss who's the BOSS!"

"Dick (to Judy after seeing Hart tied up): So, that's what you're into now. Bondage. Judy: What's that? Dick: Bondage, S&M, sex games. Judy (thinking fast): That's right. All of it. I'm into everything now get out of here. Dick: I can't believe it! Who is that guy anyway? Judy: He's my boss. Dick: Your boss. You're having an affair with your boss! Isn't that typical?! Judy: Just like you had an affair with your secretary! Dick: But Judy, this isn't you. You can't be serious. Judy: Don't you tell me what I can and can't do! Those days are over! And if I want to have an affair or play sex games or do M&M's, you can't stop me!"

"Richard Stahl - Meade"

"Ray Vitte - Eddie Smith"

"Violet: One thing you should know about dear Roz, she is the eyes, ears, nose and throat of Mr. Hart - anything she hears, he hears Judy: You mean, she's a company spy? Violet: Sshhh, I wouldn't say that. I'll just say that if you wanna gossip in the ladies room, I'd check first under the stalls for her shoes!"

"Hospital Cleaning Woman (discovers a dead corpse sitting in a wheelchair in a gentleman's restroom): Hey, Vera! We've got another stiff in the john."

"The power behind the throne"

"Violet: What can we get on him? Judy: A sex scandal! Take a picture of him in bed with a prostitute! Doralee: Oh, who would care? Violet: Yeah, Hart would just buy up the copies and send them out as Christmas cards!"

"Jeffrey Douglas Thomas - Dwayne Rhodes"

"Ren Woods - Barbara"

"Norma Donaldson - Betty"

"Hart: But why? Why? Violet: Why do you think? Hart: Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot? Violet (grinning): Bingo!"

"Judy: Where's the body?"

"Marian Mercer - Missy Hart,"

"Doralee: Is that one of them marijuana cigarettes? Violet: Ssshhh, we don't have enough for everybody, cool it!"

"Roxanna Bonilla-Giannini - Maria Delgado"

"Jane Fonda - Judy Bernly"