Dirty Sanchez

"Forward roll, time for a stroll"

"(Waking up drunk in a car after Dan had shaved his head) "Right, fuck the skate comp, fuck everything" (Dan:) "Skate comp? We're not at a skate comp!""

"(Before drinking glass of vodka) "I'm about to say...Goodnight Irene""

"(Whilst being hypnotised in Germany to rap every time he hears music) "Yeah. Lets go. Let's rock this mother fucking disco!""

"(After being hit on the head with a brick) "Right on the fucking cranium!""

"Don the trash, time for a smash!"

"(Talking about a car) "What about if it just proper mows me over?" (Pritchard:) "Trust us Panch, it's not gunna mow you over" (Dainton:) "Yeah, we've got a tape measure and everything" (Pancho:) "Short man, short life. Fucking Goodbye""

"Daint, I don't give a fuck if you've got a flux capacitor in that fucking car! I'm not going in there, right?"

"Welcome to Dirty Sanchez. I've just eaten a man."

"(After Pritchard attempts to break the world record for the most paint balls to a naked body) "You look like fucking King Kong's spunked on you!""

"I'm the vaginator, all the way from Vagville, Tennessee!"

"(Before a crab race in Phi Phi) "Luckily, Daint, I think I picked up crabs in fucking Bangkok and these are fast fuckers.""

"(After spitting out the tip of Pritchard's finger) "I couldn't do it, man! It was all fleshy!""

"The first rule of fucking Pin Club is don't talk about fucking Pin Club!"

"(Before naked paintball) "I'm in the nude for fighting!""

"Yeah, Pancho's going to have his day, there will be Pancho's revenge...although saying that, he's always too pissed to get it together to have revenge."

"(Referring to his penis whilst having his testicles waxed, laughing hysterically) "It's shriveled up! It's gone away! I've got no fucking dick! It's never been that small in my life! The man with the world's smallest knob!""

"I'm gonna go wank off a horse!"

"(Throws up on a pizza before eating it again) "I'm like a fucking fly!""

"(Talking about Dainton's new dress sense) "I know he like 'The Ramones' and he wears a Ramones T-Shirt. But New York Dolls? I've never heard him listening to New York Dolls. And Guns and Roses! He's never going "Take me down to the Paradise City, where the girls are green and the grass is pretty"... oh, that's the wrong way round isn't it!"

"(holding a handful of pubic hair on his chin) "Osama Bin Laden!""

"When you're the gimp, you're kind of like Zorro. It's like no-one knows who you are. But I'm trying to make him a 'comedy gimp', something people can relate to. There should be dancing gimp, barmitzfa gimp, funeral gimp."

""When I get married, I might go as a gimp! Imagine that! From behind, you don't notice. And I'll turn round as my wife'll be walking down the aisle..."HELLO" (laughs, before flicking his tongue in and out) With a snooker ball in me gob!"

"Faster! Faster! Ah, that's it. Faster like a Pasta-eating Rasta!"

"(When Pritchard and Pancho accidentally marry) "When we get to Greece, think of it as your honeymoon!""

"I've just eaten a fucking man! For fucks sake..."

"(After Dainton commenting on Dan fisting a dead cow) "Aw, that was a bit of love!""

"I'm not putting my head in another man's bum!"

"I'd rather wank my old man off, Panch."

"Phi Phi, fuck me, this place is a fucking wank...ville"

"The rich...now they're a bunch of funny fuckers!"

"It's not natural to run is it? The only time you should run is if you're on fire"

""I quite like this healthy lifestyle now" (Throws up)"

"(After giving a make-over to a girl in a beauty salon) "Oh look, i've created a monster!""

"Brown fields...More like frown fields."