Destroy All Humans! 2

"Crypto: Yeah, I ordered a pizza, like, seven million years ago!"

"KGB Cosmonaut: Is being on way comrade, driver is just leaving."

"KGB Cosmonaut: You are thinking I'm falling for that one?"

"KGB Cosmonaut: Da - be pulling other one."

"Tunguska KGB Officer: You are being such jerk, Ivan."

"Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?"

"Takoshima Police Woman: Please hold."

"Crypto: Hello? Is this the Suicide Hotline? 'Cause I'm feelin' pretty incredibly depres-"

"Crypto: How many Takoshimese does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!"

"Albion Policeman: Why, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Good to hear from you!"

"Albion Police Officer: 5 PM on the dot everyday! And that's when I finish work too!"

"Black Ninja: For great justice! (reference to the introduction scene in the game Zero Wing)."

"Black Ninja: Prepare yourself for death!"

"Albion Female Hippie: Me mind says John; me body says Paul; me soul says George. So why do I always end up going home with Ringo?"

"Albion Male Urban: My mind says David Frost, but my body says Benny Hill."

"Japanese Male: Should I join White Ninja, or Black Ninja? On one hand, White Ninja are in glorious harmony with universe. On other hand, Black Ninja get to live on island north of Takoshima City. White Ninja get spiritual fulfillment. Black Ninja get paid. Black Ninja."

"Japanese Male: Excuse me, may I kiss the sky!"

"Japanese Female: Geisha should not have such bad reputation. They go down in history! In fact, they very good at going down! Haha! Zing!"

"Japanese Female: Why co-eds always wear such short skirts? Nothing sexy about prying thighs from frozen park bench!"

"Japanese Schoolgirl: Maybe tomorrow I will eat something. Naaaah..."

"Japanese Schoolgirl: Tomorrow I wearing pants, dammit!"

"KGB Cosmonaut: Die, you Astro bastard!"

"African-American Hippie: Cracker."

"African-American Hippie: Honky."

"Officer Johnson: Police headquarters, Officer Johnson."

"Officer Johnson: What?"

"Crypto: I'm lookin' for Mr. Jass, first name Hugh."

"Officer Johnson: I can cover that, sir."

"I've been keeping hold of this alien predator for eons, trapped deep within, suspended in time... Why? Well, frankly, it snores, and the vibrations give me a tickle. But I'm just not in the mood right now. Take it away! [after obtaining the Burrow Beast datacore] Thank you, son of Arkvoodle. It was beginning to chafe. And thank you also for creating a cult in mine honour - being worshipped makes mine eternal gyroscopes oscillate, if you know what I meanest..."

"It is written in the Book of Divine Fabrications that "only a white warrior with the soul of a Furon can strike the face of Arkvoodle and restore balance to the Force!" Or some such nonsense. Anyhow, bring me a white ninja."

"Never heard of... I'm Orthopox 13 man! The Orthopox 13! Conqueror of Zargon 5? Hero of the battle of Tharsis Mons? Winner of the Xanthrax-47 mental cruelty award six years running? I'm the second most senior fleet commander in the entire Furon Navy! I was enslaving hyper-dimensional insectoids in the dunghills of Beedleblat when you were still in short pants! And you've never heard of me?"

"It is written in the Book of Divine Fabrications that "the Great God of the Sacred Crotch was not made and cannot be unmade! Arkvoodle is, always was, and always will be!" And for once, they got it right. Fire at my idol with your Disintegrator Ray! I'll show you. [after idol is shot] Told you. Nonetheless, I shall unlock the landing zone. Thanks for playing."

"The humans have offended me! Therefore probe them in their nether regions, to teach them discipline! Arkvoodle the High and Mighty commands thee! [after Crypto does so] The humans have been probed! ... And there was much titillation! Landing zone activated!"

"That cinches it, Crypto! You've destroyed the Blisk Base! I've half a mind to put you up for a medal - but only half."

"[if Crypto isn't able to use certain abilities on certain people or objects] I need an upgrade from the Gene Blender."

"Bring me humans, alive and squirming, that I may suck up their lifeforce like Voltarian linquilipedes... in spicy solar clam sauce, mmm! Arkvoodle has spoken! [when brought humans] My omnivorous hunger is sated! Landing zone activated! It rhymes! I'm a poet and I know it not!"

"Arkvoodle requires slaves! Female slaves! Preferably buxom and scantily clad. By the Sacred Genitalia, heed the word of Arkvoodle! [when female humans are brought] These females are "fly" and "off the hook"! Landing zone activated!"

"The saucer's sensor is picking up significant radiation levels all around you, Crypto. Either Gastro's gout is acting up, or there must be fuel rods nearby."

"From the ashes of terror and destruction, Arkvoodle is reborn to spread the good pick-up line of erotic satiation! Go, son of Arkvoodle! Take the Sacred Crotch to the masses!"

"The glory of Arkvoodle grows from the highest state of chaotic fecundity! When the ring turns orange and the population's nerves are frayed, then shall the ground be fit to sow, and the masses shall follow! Thus spake Arkvoodle! Bow-chicka-bow-down!"

"Ah, Albion, where the sun never sets and the natives never floss."

"Yippee-ki-yay, Mother Russia."

"My name is Luke... Crypto, and I'm here to rescue you."

"The desecration of this land offends my all-seeing eye! Rid the vicinity of human-made refuse! Thus spake Arkvoodle! [after area is cleared] Sacred son of Arkvoodle, thou hast pleased me well! For thy service, I grant thee some serious swag: landing zone activated!"

"Crypto, I was the best shot in my class and I once fought my way out of an East German football riot wearing a West German jersey. I'm not a sidekick. No offense taken."

"Oh, sure, point out that I'm dead again. It just gets funnier every 50th time you do it, doesn't it?"

"All right, spaceman, you line them up, I'll knock them down."

"Crypto, I like you, but I will neuter you if I have to."

"Crypto, If you can hear me, meet me in the park. It seems that treacherous human's damaged some of your equipment. No, I'm not referring your new "package"!"