"What's the matter, Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress?"

"Don't shame me in the synagogue."

"You know, I wonder how drunk Cynthia was when she decided to do a jack knife off of Park Avenue."

"(upon seeing a slinky dress) Now, I ask you, Duarto, who's supposed to wear that? Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus?…"

"Fill 'em up!"

"No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud!"

"You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!"

"Chris: Guess what, dad? I'm a lesbian. A big one."

"Dr. Morris Packman: If I give you one more face lift, you're going to be able to blink your lips!"

"Gunilla: (sees Shelley and Morty entering her building) Social climbers on the rise."