"If I peed on your couch, I would pay someone to come in and steal all of your furniture. I would rather burn down you…"

"You don't trust me?"

"One life is enough for anyone. But there are so many lives within that life."

"There was a time in my life when it was just a joy to wake up every morning and run to the mirror."

"You were way too drunk. There are rules."

"I think you'll find people will do a lot of things for you. If you ever just want to put down the beer bottle and let…"

"You food truck people think you're so cool. You're not. I can get ice cream at the grocery store."

"I am going to wait on a customer with no pants on. Tell me that isn't the coolest thing ever."

"And if you're gonna freak out every time that you see a frozen chicken, I think we should go to the hospital. I don't…"

"Who you gonna shoot, you or me?"