Screenwriters From The United States

"Imagining something is better than remembering something."

"This is Marxism. It's leveling everything by decimating what works ... It's that vindictive 'We've suffered, and now we're going to take money from your kid and watch you squirm'... There's a minority which is an open target in this country which no one protects, and that's rich people."

"You can only make the slit so much higher, the stiletto so much taller."

"I guess I'm hyper-self-conscious about people thinking that I'm egotistical, but there's a difference between being egotistical and knowing your value as a product and an actor. I know my value as a product, and I've divorced myself as a human from myself as a product."

"... style without substance is nothing, the substance in the story was the most important thing. Of course, there is a layer of style. If I were a director working in a different era, I would have had to be at MGM. I don't think I'd probably know how to make anything but enhanced reality, because that's what comes naturally to me."

"I believe in a parallel universe of image and fantasy that isn't so much fantasy as it is forever sealed in films and things that have entertained us for years. This parallel universe has influenced me perhaps even more than the real world or the physical world. Because when I think of certain things, like a beautiful woman, its most likely someone I saw on film... these are things I've been taking from film or television and applying it to real life."

"Sick of Hollywood, tired of fighting and selling out as an artist. I don't believe anyone should do the same thing for the rest of his life. We get a very short time on this planet. Challenging oneself is very important. It's not that I couldn't make other great animated films, but I'd done what I wanted to do, which was make animation an adult medium, if one wanted it to be. And I'd proven to myself that it could work, and it was time to move on to something else. When I sell a painting, I get very excited. I need one person to like what I do, not a million. It's a different structure here. Plus the Hollywood thing. I mean, Hollywood is no place to grow up, no place to live. It's no place to have any friends, no place to enjoy life. It's a disgusting, horrible, craze-driven town. It's only how much do you make, or how fancy a car you have, that determines your status there. And everyone's lying so much that they don't even know they're lying anymore. There's no reality to Hollywood. The fees they pay directors are obnoxious, the money they spend on movies could feed entire starving African... I mean, fuck 'em. I made a few bucks and got out. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with those people. They're disgusting people, and you can quote me on that. There's a lot of great talent there, but it's no place I wanted to spend much time. I'd rather spend time with Rembrandt and Goya at home. They're better company than those schmucks who never read Lord Of The Rings."

"Wizards was about the creation of the state of Israel and the Holocaust, about the Jews looking for a homeland, and about the fact that fascism was on the rise again, I thought. That was way before the Right Wing made their appearance again, and I felt that things were shifting back. So on that level, Wizards was a very personal film."

"Four guys could get together and make their own movie, in a year, but nobody does it 'cause they got bills to pay. What I'm saying is, that's what I would do, if I was young. I wouldn't even get a job. I'd get a couple of computers and a bunch of guys, we'd eat crap for a year, millionaires the next year if we did a good film. It's so extraordinary. Instead of crying about getting a job at Disney or "things are falling apart", things the old animators were doing when I was a kid, "it's all crumbling!" It's not crumbling, you're crumbling! You got these computers that could do this stuff for nothing! What do you do with it? You try to get a job for some asshole studio. It's so dumb."

"When I had my own company on Traffic and Coonskin, all metaphors were able to get to the screen clearly. In Cool World, with the producer and Paramount watching me carefully to make sure I was in good taste, I instinctively poured stuff into the picture that I wanted to talk about. But when you force stuff, it's not really very clear. But, I have a great love for Max Fleischer, especially some of his Black & White Betty Boops with their strange Cab Calloway and Louis Armstrong black folk tale jazz hipness that part of Cool World was a homage in style to those films and that style of cartooning. The Grim Reaper is right out of a Max Fleischer cartoon or old Terrytoons, which is why I hired and love Milton Knight the artist. He understands totally the Uncle Remus fable like qualities behind Fleischer and Terrytoons. Milton Knight is probably the purest artist of that style in the business. He has a hard time because studios think he is old fashioned...but that's the point."

"Did I have a responsibility to discuss issues? Absolutely. Bobby Dylan was discussing issues – Disney wasn’t."

"Sweetheart, I'm the biggest ripped-off cartoonist in the history of the world, and that's all I'm going to say."

"I mean, I did ride the Paris subway in an attempt to get pick-pocketed in order to see how exactly they did it. My buddy was videoing the whole thing. No one picked my pocket. We got bolder and bolder as we went, but it didn’t pan out for us."

"I think there is really good chance that Sarah Palin could be president and I think that is a scary thing, because I don't know anything about her. I don't think in eight weeks I'm going to know anything about her. I know she was a mayor of a really, really small town, and she is governor of Alaska for less than two years. I just don't understand. I think the pick was made for political purposes, but in terms of governance it is a disaster. You do the actuary tables, you know there is one out of three chance or more that McCain doesn't survive his first term, and it will be President Palin. It really … I was talking about it earlier, it is like a really bad Disney movie, you know. The hockey mom, I'm just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she is the president. She is like facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. You know it is absurd. It is totally absurd, and I don't understand why more people aren't talking about how absurd it is. It is a really terrifying possibility. The fact that we have gotten this far, and with that close this being a reality is crazy. I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That's an important. … I want to know that. I really do. Because she's going to have the nuclear codes, you know. I want to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago or whether she banned books or tried to ban books. I mean, we can't have that."

"It was offered to me. When Spielberg says jump, bitches say how high?"

"My thoughts on veganism are that it’s a wonderful thing to do. I just can’t do it. I tried. Casey Affleck and I made a movie in the desert in Argentina like 12 years ago and he’s a vegan and I tried to eat vegan and I lasted like two days. I just, I literally can’t do it. And I know…that might be bad."

"It's the first movie I feel really proud of. But I know it's not a movie for everyone. Some people will embrace it, but some people will hate it, and I'm not really sure how to deal with that. In the past I've made movies that were pretty universally liked. You can't really hate them. You can discard them, but you can't really hate them."

"Gradually I got tuned into the world — that happens on every movie. I did a women's movie, and I'm not a woman. I did a gay movie, and I'm not gay. I learned as I went along."

"The stern dad stuff doesn't work anymore. You have to be level with the kids, you have to be a nice guy... The authority thing just doesn't work anymore. It's like directing a Chinese film vs. directing an American film. On a Chinese film you just give orders, no one questions you. Here, you have to convince people, you have to tell them why you want to do it a certain way, and they argue with you. Democracy."

"Mainstream films have occupied Hollywood but you can get bored very easily. It can be very repetitive and I think now we want something fresh and something inspiring and different, daring. The mainstream film is very expensive to make and it scares people. It's made for the worldwide audience, you have to please so many people, and the business men start running the movies rather than artists. This is back to the oldest way of Hollywood filmmaking, creating a fantasy, but it has been lost. It seems to take a foreign language film to recoup that ultimate movie viewing experience."

"I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black."

"I'll take this opportunity to answer one of the most repeated questions: why didn't I choose to depict Mohammed having sex? The answer is simple. I don't want to get blown up with explosives. I'm afraid of angering Muslims, but not afraid of angering Jews and Christians. So I chose to depict the Judeo-Christian God instead. It seems extremely obvious to me, but so many people asked."

"If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon."

"I Hope The Jews Did Kill Christ. I’d Fucking Do It Again in a Second."

"Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know … because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years … but younger black women are prostitutes."

"I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?"

"[holds up an egg] This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg."

"I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving."

"On the law that requires women to wait twenty-four hours before they are permitted to have an abortion: I think it's a good law. The other day I wanted to go get an abortion. I really wanted an abortion, but then I thought about it and it turned out I was just thirsty."

"A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God – I'm turning into my mother!""

"When God gives you AIDS – and God does give you AIDS – make lemon-AIDS!"

"I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl."

"I love you more than bears love honey, I love you more than Jews love money, I love you more than Asians are good at math. I love you even if it's not hip, I love you more than black guys don't tip, I love you like Puerto Ricans need baths."

"I saw my father's penis once. But it was okay, because I was so young … and so drunk."

"The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews."

"The writers of Sanford and Son were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!"

"I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin."

"I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that. I'm such a pessimist … he's actually half-white."

"When that Jesus movie came out, Jews didn't want people to see it. Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it up on the Romans. I am one of the few people that believe it was the blacks!"

"I don't care. Good! I hope the Jews did kill Christ. I'd do it again! I'd fucking do it again in a second."

"I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, [in a gruff male voice] "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but [flattered smile] he was talking about me!"

"People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne." I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am – I'm white!"

"Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move? I'm gonna need a quick answer on this."

"I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes, because – I'm Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions."

"People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt."

"The only time it's an issue, I suppose, would be like if you're having a baby and you've got to figure out how you want to raise it. Which still wouldn't be an issue for us, because we'd be … honest, and just say, you know, like, "Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!""

"Jesus is magic, you know, because he turned water to wine, and, um … he, um … I think he made the Statue of Liberty disappear in the 80's."

"I've sued my manager for sexual harassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything."

"This song brings me back … I was brutally raped to this song."

"I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse."