"Sunrises and sunsets. Some things are just beautiful no matter what. And a constant reminder that you only get so many, so you gotta fuckin' enjoy them."

"Vampire, werewolf, zombie, witch or alien?"

"I don't want to die and I don't want to watch anyone die."

"I'm studying evolutionary genetics. It's easier to isolate genes in a homogeneous population."

"Augie Duke as Jackie"

"Holly Hawkins as Nicole Russell"

"Shane Brady as Brad"

"Jeremy Gardner as Tommy"

"Jonathan Silvestri as Sam"

"Vinny Curran as Mike"

"Vanessa Bednar as Gail"

"Lou Taylor Pucci as Evan"

"Nadia Hilker as Louise"

"Francesco Carnelutti as Angelo"

"Nick Nevern as Thomas"

"So we're sleeping together and I'm, like, making you meals, but you can't tell me anything?"

"Chris Palko as Bancroft Dawson"

"I'd still like to grab coffee or something, sometime. Because I think you're the most attractive person I've ever seen. But that doesn't outweigh that you might be a mental patient and I gotta make sure that you're the kind of crazy I can deal with."

"She's more than a toy. She's family."

"To help them see that science is all around us!"

"It is shown that 75% of parental tasks are repetitive..."

"Put her on the toy table, and make sure they know that's all she is."

"M3gan, turn off."

"Those aren't toys, they're collectables."

"I'm not equipped to handle this. I don't even take care of my own plants."

"Cady, you lost your parents. The worst thing that could've happened to you in this world happened. And it is so unfair, and there is nothing anyone can say to make sense of it. Not even M3gan. I am so sorry. I should've talked to you about what happened. I didn't know what to say, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. But she's not a solution. She's just a distraction. I can't promise you that these feelings you're feeling are ever gonna go away. But I can promise you that you'll get through it. We both will."

"From helping to diagnose learning differences..."

"One, two, three, four, I declare Thumb War!"

"Michael Saccente as Greg"

"It was made to do more than this."

"Jack Cassidy as Brandon"

"Maybe you should let Cady lead."

"Brian Jordan Alvarez as Cole"

"Jen Van Epps as Tess"

"If not a thought, then maybe a feeling, like anger?"

"That's what the future looks like!"

"[Cady punches Gemma in the face] Oh my God!"

"If you build a toy that's impossible to let go of, how do you expect a child to grow?"

"You did not just tell me that!"

"Megan, look at this pen. [Pokes her in the neck and switches her off]"

"Amazeballs!"

"Stephane Garneau-Monten as Kurt"

"[After catching Kurt acting suspiciously with his laptop again] You weren't Pornhubbing from the office again, were you?"

"Not that kid, the other one who stares out of the window at 3 AM!"

"Tell her to write me a list of things to say so I look like I know what I'm talking about."

"Just tell me what's wrong with her!"

"It's nice to have a friend..."

"[Unrated version] You know what you could do, Kurt, that would really benefit this discussion? Is if you could head out those double doors, take the elevator to the first floor and get me a fucking kombucha! Could you do that?"