Homestar Runner

"Off-screen chorus: There goes the Thnikkaman!"

"Strong Bad: I'd like to see you stay on task when you're starin' down the barrel of a loaded Thnikkaman."

"Strong Bad: Oh, I got flashbacks alright, Jon. I'm like, Discount Flashback Warehouse over here. But this particular flashback has way too much historical significance to be shown in anything but WIDESCREEEEEEEEEEEEN. Left side: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAH! [screen expands to the left] Right side: WOOOOOAHH— [screen expands to the right, revealing Homestar Runner] Wha-uh, what are you doin' over there?"

"Homestar Runner: Oh, I'm pretty much here every week. It's just that usually I'm behind the black."

"Strong Bad: Guess I should start... lookin' to the right more often."

"Homestar Runner: In fact, I think I might live here."

"Strong Bad: I don't think so. If you lived here, you'd have less non-broken bones. And more crushed spirits."

"Strong Bad: Everyone loves Strong Bad. He is an okay guy."

"Strong Bad: [narrating] One day Strong Bad was finishing up a game of tennis on the moon with his pal, the Coach Z. He won 1,000,000 to 3."

"Storybook Strong Bad: You see, 3 is clearly a smaller number than a million."

"Strong Bad: Said Strong Bad."

"Storybook Coach Z: Ooooooh. Now I understand."

"Strong Bad: Oh, good one Kyle. Like I don't get two jillion of these emails every two jillion seconds. Er. Wait. Would that be so bad? Hmmm. I'll have to ask Gron Sad about that later on. Maybe write in to Popular Science about it. "Popular Science." No such thing, man. More like, "Nerdular Nerdence.""

"Strong Mad: I DON’T WANT TO EAT A GUITAR!"

"Strong Bad (as Dangerseque): Let's get one thing straight, meatball... face... butt: I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo... which is all the time."

"Homestar Runner (as Dangeresque Too): Oh yeah? Well, you need me because I'm the only one that knows where Perducci is, and where that is... is that he is... in... Istanbul."

"Strong Bad: Okay, kids, we're gonna play "Where's The Cheat?". Can you say, "a-The Cheat"?"

"Kids: [mumbling] THE CHEAT!"

"Random kid: Christopher Columbus!"

"Strong Bad: Not good enough. F minus minus."

"Strong Bad: All right, dumb children. Find The Cheat!"

"Kids: He’s over there!"

"Strong Bad: Um, no, he's behind the box. No, uh, he's not even behind the box, he's barely obscured by the box. Look, The Cheat is behind the freaking box!! HE'S BEHIND THE BOX! I'LL KILL YA!! I'LL KILL ALL YOUR DOGS!!"

"Strong Bad: I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS."

"Strong Bad: He's like a big square, this guy [Strong Mad]. I don't really know if that has anything to do with why he doesn't have his own cartoon. But it's just weird, is all. Un... settling. I guess if he lived in Cubeland, it might work, but... Cubeland is a place I just made up, so..."

"Homestar Runner: I want my own cartoon, Strong Bad."

"Strong Bad: What? I'm over here!"

"Homestar Runner: Oh. [turns around] I want my own cartoon, Pom Pom."

"Strong Bad: Homestar, a cartoon starring you would be horrible. It'd just be you saying "Sewiously" [sic] all the time and acting like a moron... all the time."

"Homestar Runner: No, no! Not no more! I got a new catchphrase!"

"Strong Bad: No."

"Homestar Runner: You wanna hear it?"

"Strong Bad: No!"

"Homestar Runner: I'd be all the time sayin' "That's bupkis!""

"Strong Bad: Rest assured, Shim-Sham Sam, my time capsule would reign supreme. Like your hot single Mom is gonna wanna date my time capsule. So, the key to a good time capsule is it being an actual capsule. None of these shoe boxes or tennis ball cans. No. Those things are called time boxes and time tennis ball cans. Those are different and lame and differently lame. And they always get dug up in about 4 days."

"Strong Bad: And I might as well spit in it, just in case they ever figure out how to make people… from spit. Ooh! Then I'd put some dry ice in there so when they open it up it looks all smoky and steamy and it says a-like froosh when they first open it. There'll be no doubt about my coolty."

"Stinkoman: Oh man, those first four hundred bites of dirt were not so good. Maybe the next one will be better. [finds Strong Bad’s time capsule] WHAAAT is this?! Some sort of a challenge buried in the GROUUUND?!"

"Strong Bad: The Lappy 486 weighs in at an extremely portable forty-two pounds and features an impressive battery life of one half of ten minutes."

"Strong Bad: [I]f I was my own made up animal, I would probably like as [sic] the coolest made up animal ever made up. I would have all the cool animal options and accessories: Claws, Horns, Tusks, Tentacles, Power Doors, 15 Year Drivetrain Warranty, Proboscis, Segmented Eyes…"

"Strong Bad: Being from Africa, I'm sure you guys are used to eating, like, exotic fruits and nectars and, um, lions… so our recipes may seem a bit uncouth. Uncouth. Can something be just plain couth? I bet freakin' Strong Sad is plain couth."

"Strong Bad: Say there, Coach, would you like to try some of our free icèd-c-cream? It's got toasted coconut!"

"Coach Z: How could I refuse? I can't afford the money-cost variety! [starts eating] Oooh! Sweet mercy! [keeps eating] This is orful! [sic] [still eating]"

"Strong Bad: Aww, it's OK, Coach. You're the proud new eater of a healthy bowl of sour cream and The Cheat fur!"

"Coach Z: Hoo! I think I'm going to puke my pants!"

"Strong Bad: Ugh! Please don't elaborate on that."

"Coach Z: Naw, it's easy. I do it all the time! Here, let me show ya's!"

"Strong Bad: AUGH!"

"Homestar Runner: Hey, girlfriend, have you tried any of this free ice cream Strong Bad made?"

"Marzipan: Homestar, didn't anyone tell you? That's, like, cottage cheese and The Cheat hair!"

"Homestar Runner: WHAT!? Strong Bad told me it was sour cream and The Cheat hair!"