All Quotes

"It should be illegal to yell 'Y2K' in a crowded economy."

"One thing I do understand is that people get scared when I start thinking out loud."

": No comment, since this is still hovering (see Larry's reply). Flutter, flutter."

"We don't have enough parallel universes to allow all uses of all junction types--in the absence of quantum computing the combinatorics are not in our favor..."

"Accidental stacks considered harmful."

"I try not to confuse roles and traits in my own life. Being the Perl god is a role. Being a stubborn cuss is a trait."

"And in the limiting case where the optimizer is completely broken because it's not implemented yet, we get to work around that too. Optionally..."

"I think I'm happier with that. $rubyometer += 0.3 or so."

"double value; /* or your money back! */ short changed; /* so triple your money back! */"

"/* now make a new head in the exact same spot */"

"#define NULL 0 /* silly thing is, we don't even use this */"

"#define SIGILL 6 /* blech */"

"if (rsfp = mypopen('/bin/mail root','w')) { /* heh, heh */"

"/* And you'll never guess what the dog had */ /* in its mouth... */"

"break; /* don't do magic till later */"

"stab_val(stab)->str_nok = 1; /* what a wonderful hack! */"

"tmps_base = tmps_max; /* protect our mortal string */"

"pos += screamnext[pos] /* does this goof up anywhere? */"

"str->str_pok |= SP_FBM; /* deep magic */ s = (unsigned char*)(str->str_ptr); /* deeper magic */"

"echo 'Congratulations. You aren't running Eunice."

"echo 'Hmmm...you don't have Berkeley networking in libc.a...' echo 'but the Wollongong group seems to have hacked it in."

"echo 'ICK, NOTHING WORKED!!! You may have to diddle the includes.';;"

"echo $package has manual pages available in source form. echo 'However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you."

"echo 'Your stdio isn't very std.'"

"[End of diatribe. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...]"

"OOPS! You naughty creature! You didn't run Configure with sh! I will attempt to remedy the situation by running sh for you..."

"That means I'll have to use $ans to suppress newlines now. Life is ridiculous."

"There is, however, a strange, musty smell in the air that reminds me of something...hmm...yes...I've got it...there's a VMS nearby, or I'm a Blit."

"You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars. You can't even think about them!"

"Your csh still thinks true is false. Write to your vendor today and tell them that next year Configure ought to 'rm /bin/csh' unless they fix their blasted shell."

"/* we have tried to make this normal case as abnormal as possible */"

"s = (char*)(long)retval; /* ouch */"

"signal(i, SIG_DFL); /* crunch, crunch, crunch */"

"if (instr(buf,sys_errlist[errno])) /* you don't see this */"

"/* dbmrefcnt--; */ /* doesn't work, rats */"

"#else /* !STDSTDIO */ /* The big, slow, and stupid way */"

"/* This bit of chicanery makes a unary function followed by a parenthesis into a function with one argument, highest precedence. */"

"Be consistent."

"Does the same as the system call of that name. If you don't know what it does, don't worry about it."

"Even if you aren't in doubt, consider the mental welfare of the person who has to maintain the code after you, and who will probably put parens in the wrong place."

"Help save the world!"

"If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument."

"In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency."

"Okay, that's definitely enough hype."

"Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so consider picking the most readable one."

"Remember though that THERE IS NO GENERAL RULE FOR CONVERTING A LIST INTO A SCALAR."

"The autodecrement is not magical."

"The previous line contains the naughty word '$&'.\n if /(ibm|apple|awk)/; # :-)"

"When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi."

"Many people dream of success. To me success can only be achieved through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success represents the 1% of your work which results only from the 99% that is called failure."