"I'd put my money where my mouth is, but my mouth keeps moving."

"I think $[ is more like a coelacanth than a mastadon."

"So far we've managed to avoid turning Perl into APL."

"They can always run stderr through uniq."

"Of course, I reserve the right to make wholly stupid changes to Perl if I think they improve the language."

"Call me bored, but don't call me boring."

"I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses."

"If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you."

"Not that I have anything much against redundancy. But I said that already."

"We question most of the mantras around here periodically, in case you hadn't noticed."