All Quotes

"Lord Binky The Buffoon: You need a new tailor, your clothes are absolutely dreadful!"

"Mad Arcand: There be pheasants and penguins and booberry trees between the greenest of skies and the whitest of seas (wertle-wertle-wertle-woo, wertle-woooo...)"

"Beggar: *COUGH* ...M-my lung! I-it's flopping all over the dirt! Damn."

"Montaron: What part of "I'm a loner" do ye not understand?!"

"Montaron: Ye goody-goodies make me sick!"

"Most Radiant of Lathander, Kelddath Ormlyr: Don't touch me; I'm super-important!"

"Narrator: You must gather your party before venturing forth."

"(Annoyed tone) O, YES, MASTER. What shall I FETCH NOW?!"

"Nimbul: I am death, come for thee. Surrender, and thy passage shall be... quicker."

"Nobleman: I thank you for not stealing the pantaloons, and I will thank you kindly not to mention the stuffing in the codpiece."

"Nobleman: Away with you beggar . . . ."

"Noober: Everyone in town used to throw rocks at me and tell me I was annoying. I once knew this guy named Dilby. He threw rocks at me too. Are you gonna throw rocks at me? What about now?"

"Noober: What about now?"

"Portalbendarwinden: Ehhh... insights? Um... Never take raisins from rabbits, never spit in a man's face unless his moustache is on fire, and don't take any wooden knickers unless you've a good supply of salve."

"Priest Of Oghma: These walls contain the world's knowledge."

"Priest of Oghma: Wisdom is only possessed by the learned."

"Quayle: I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T."

"Quayle: Feel my amazing brain. Go on, touch it!"

"Skie: I have a cold..."

"Taerom "Thunderhammer" Fuiruim: I can make whatever you wish for a wee little bit more than me competition."

"Tenya: Stop! You are tresspassing on my land-home!"

"The Great Gazib: Hi, come well and welcome! You have stumbled upon The Great Gazib Show, starring yours truly, the Great Gazib!!! Allow me to introduce the Amazing Oopah, the world's only exploding ogre!"

"The Great Gazib: You're either a die-hard fan or a sadist, friend... (No, Oopah, just one more, one last one, then you can go back to the tent... Oopah, put the weapon down -- Oopah?) AA-a-ieee! (Oopah appears and attacks the party)"

"Viconia: Surface-dwellers can be so stupid."

"Viconia: There is no roof to this world."

"Viconia: Male, fetch me something to eat!"

"Well-Adjusted Al: Hi, I'm Well-Adjusted Al, and my prices are sensible. I used to be called Crazy Al, but therapy has convinced me that selling plate armour for 3 gold pieces and a small duck was no way to get ahead in business."

"Winthrop: My Hotel's as clean as an Elven arse!"

"Mellicamp the Chicken: Th... thank ye... (cluck). You have saved (cluck) me. Protagonist:"

"# Forsooth! Methinks you are no ordinary talking chicken!"

"# I fear I have taken one too many blows to the head! Next I'll be hearing hamsters speak!"

"# A-a-a-ah!!! Unholy magics are afoot! This chicken is possessed! This bird is FOUL!!!"

"What? You uses sling? What is you, a big sissy?"

"Mmm... old rations? Do you clean pack sometimes or just pretend?"

"What's this? Stale cookie? (munching noises) Ugh... that is no cookie..."

"Mmm? What's this? You gots hammer? Bhaal once drop hammer on big godly toe. Jump around and swear for days, he did. Kicked poor me all the way to Baator. Very bad week, that."

"Oooo... big weapon, this. You over-compensating, maybe?"

"Umm... Cespenar only serve the Great One. You'se nice maybe, but you'se still a nobody."

"Mm. Cool bastard sword, oh yes. Why bastard, you think? No parent?"

"I keep looking, but I runnings out of recipes soon. Needs to find Martha, soon. She around Hell somewhere, I thinks."

"Stupid friggin' Bhaal... (indistinct grumbling) ...not even a friggin' pension!"

"What's this? A book? Is good bedtime readings, maybe? Oh. Is Tome of Golems. Yuck! BOR-ing!"

"eh? a shower curtain? oh it's only a cloak! Nasty pattern that..."

"De Dum De dum De De Dum, I'se looking through stuff that ain't mine! De Dum De De Dum"

"A glove? only one? what is you a ROCK star?!"

"Eh? Bag of rocks? What you do with so many rocks? Need for head?"

"Ahhhhhh, the flail of many heads"

"Greetings. I am Edwin Odesseiron. You simians may refer to me merely as "Sir," if you prefer a less... syllable-intensive workout."

"Edwin do this, EDWIN DO THAT... somebody get this jerk a banana."

"Tedious monkey work."