All Quotes

"I’m not lazy, I’m efficient."

"“Pay, are all paymasters dishonest?” “Only the good ones.”"

"But I warn you, it won’t be fun. Nobody owns a business; the business owns him. You’re a slave to it."

"I used to wonder what it was like to be rich. Now I am and it turns out to be mostly headaches."

"“What can I do for you?” “Uh, is this confidential?” “Privileged, son. The word is ‘privileged.’ You don’t ask a lawyer that; he’s either honest or he ain’t. Me, I’m middlin’ honest. You take your chances.”"

"Son, people do odd things for money, but they’ll do still more drastic things for power over money. Anybody sittin’ close to a billion credits is in danger; it’s like keeping a pet rattlesnake."

"He was finding it ruinously expensive to be rich."

"Age is not an accomplishment, and youth is not a sin."

"No philosophy that he had ever heard or read gave any reasonable purpose for man's existence, nor any rational clue to his proper conduct. Basking in the sunshine might be as good a thing to do with one's life as any other — but it was not for him and he knew it, even if he could not define how he knew it."

"A committee is the only known form of life with a hundred bellies and no brain."

"Life is short, but the years are long."

"I was polishing a brandy snifter when the Unmarried Mother came in. I noted the time — 10: 17 P.M. zone five, or eastern time, November 7th, 1970. Temporal agents always notice time and date; we must. The Unmarried Mother was a man twenty-five years old, no taller than I am, childish features and a touchy temper. I didn't like his looks — I never had — but he was a lad I was here to recruit, he was my boy. I gave him my best barkeep's smile."

"I dictated my report; forty recruitments all okayed by the Psych Bureau — counting my own, which I knew would be okayed. I was here, wasn't I? Then I taped a request for assignment to operations; I was sick of recruiting."

"Never Do Yesterday What Should Be Done Tomorrow."

"If at Last You Do Succeed, Never Try Again."

"A Paradox May Be Paradoctored."

"I glanced at the ring on my finger. The Snake That Eats Its Own Tail, Forever and Ever … I know where I came from — but where did all you zombies come from?"

"You aren't really there at all. There isn't anybody but me — Jane — here alone in the dark. I miss you dreadfully!"

"“Dr. Russell, I concede that Washington has an atrocious climate. But you will have air-conditioned offices.” “With clocks, no doubt. And secretaries. And soundproofing.” “Anything you want, doctor.” “The point is, Mr. Secretary, I don’t want them. This household has no clocks. Nor calendars. Once I had a large income and a larger ulcer; I now have a small income and no ulcer. I stay here.” “But the job needs you.” “The need is not mutual.”"

"There is no such thing as luck; there is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe."

"Television leaves no external scars."

"Daddy says that, in a dilemma, it is helpful to change any variable, then reexamine the problem."

"We lived like that “Happy Family“ you sometimes see in traveling zoos: a lion caged with a lamb. It is a startling exhibit but the lamb has to be replaced frequently."

"When I don’t understand, I have an unbearable itch to know why."

"I missed my slipstick. Dad says that anyone who can't use a slide rule is a cultural illiterate and should not be allowed to vote. Mine is a beauty — a K&E 20-inch Log-log Duplex Decitrig. Dad surprised me with it after I mastered a ten-inch polyphase. We ate potato soup that week — but Dad says you should always budget luxuries first. I knew where it was. Home on my desk."

"You're in bad shape when your emotions force you into acts which you know are foolish."

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors — and miss."

"Some people insist that “mediocre” is better than “best.” They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can’t fly. They despise brains because they have none. Pfah!"

"Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation."

"“Peewee!” I said sharply. “You're not listening.” “What were you doing talking,” she answered reasonably, “when I wasn’t listening?”"

"The less respect an older person deserves the more certain he is to demand it from anyone younger."

"I've heard all the usual Sweetness and Light that kids get pushed at them—how they should always forgive, how there’s some good in the worst of us, etc. But when I see a black widow, I step on it; I don’t plead with it to be a good little spider and please stop poisoning people. A black widow spider can’t help it—but that’s the point."

"“Die trying” is the proudest human thing."

"When a fact came along, he junked theories that failed to match."

"The best things in history are accomplished by people who get “tired of being shoved around.”"

"Morals — all correct moral laws — derive from the instinct to survive. Moral behavior is survival behavior above the individual level."

"Correct morality can only be derived from what man is — not from what do-gooders and well-meaning aunt Nellies would like him to be."

"You better just start dealing with it, Hudson! Listen to me! Hudson, just deal with it, because we need you and I'm sick of your bullshit."

"You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage."

"[to the Alien Queen who is about to kill Newt] Get away from her, you BITCH!"

"Close your eyes, baby!"

"All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? It's another glorious day in the Corps. A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm: Every meal's a banquet. Every paycheck's a fortune! Every formation's a parade! I love the Corps!"

"I'm ready, man. Check it out! I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do not want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey, Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out. Independently targeting particle-beam phalanx. WHAP! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs. We got sonic, electronic ball-breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks..."

"Yo! Stop your grinnin', and drop your linen! Found 'em!"

"We're on the express elevator to hell, going down!"

"They're coming outta the walls! They're coming outta the goddamn walls! Let's book!"

"What do you mean "they cut the power"? How could they cut the power, man?! They're animals!"

"That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?"

"This time it's war."

"There are some places in the universe you don't go alone."