All Quotes

"As Mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani showed how exercising fiscal discipline, including tax cuts, lowers deficits, spurs economic growth, and increases revenue. It is time the rest of the country benefit from a true fiscal conservative leader who gets real results."

"Rudy Giuliani is a true American hero, and we know this because he does all the things we expect of heroes these days -- like make $16 million a year, and lobby for Hugo Chávez and Rupert Murdoch, and promote wars without ever having served in the military, and hire a lawyer to call his second wife a "stuck pig," and organize absurd, grandstanding pogroms against minor foreign artists, and generally drift through life being a shameless opportunist with an outsize ego who doesn't even bother to conceal the fact that he's had a hard-on for the presidency since he was in diapers. In the media age, we can't have a hero humble enough to actually be one; what is needed is a tireless scoundrel, a cad willing to pose all day long for photos, who'll accept $100,000 to talk about heroism for an hour, who has the balls to take a $2.7 million advance to write a book about himself called Leadership. That's Rudy Giuliani. Our hero. And a perfect choice to uphold the legacy of George W. Bush."

"Rudy Giuliani has shown that he is a true leader. He can and will win the nomination and the presidency. He is America's mayor, and during a period of time of great stress for this country he showed tremendous leadership."

"Well, among other things, it seems Rudy's a bit of a fibber. Says one thing one, then denies it a few hours later, apparently not familiar with the concept of audio and video recordings."

"[He] didn't bring us together, our pain brought us together... We would have come together if Bozo was the mayor."

"Middlebury College has made the decision to revoke the honorary degree it presented to the presidential attorney Rudolph Giuliani in 2005, and has communicated this to Mr. Giuliani's office"

"Lay down with dogs. Wake up with fleas and without $20,000 a day"

"In 1990, a Boston police expert, Bill Bratton, was appointed head of New York's subway police and introduced the 'zero tolerance' policy of arresting and prosecuting even in minor cases. This worked so well that in 1993, when the federal prosecutor Rudolph Giuliani was elected mayor of New York, he gave Bratton the opportunity to apply the energy to the city as a whole, and the results were impressive. In 1993-95, violent and property crimes dropped 26 percent in New York, murders by teenagers dropped 28 percent, car theft 46 percent, robbery 41 percent, and murder 49 percent. New York, with 3 percent of the population, accounted for one-third of the fall in reported crimes in three years. In 1996 the city reported fewer murders than at any time since 1968. But, though more effective policing helped, abetted by the underlying demographic factors, such as a rise in the average age of the population, most studies agreed that a radical improvement in the level of crime in America would depend on the return to a more religious or moralistic culture. Historians have always noted that organized religion had proved the best form of social control in Western societies."

"I hope people who should have known better then, understand now that Giuliani succeeding Dinkins was an outcome of similar forces that led to Trump succeeding Obama."

"I'm afraid it will be on my gravestone: 'Rudy Giuliani. He lied for Trump.' Somehow, I don't think that will be it. But, if it is, so what do I care? I’ll be dead."

"A person in a rented apartment must be able to lean out of his window and scrape off the masonry within arm's reach. And he must be allowed to take a long brush and paint everything outside within arm's reach. So that it will be visible from afar to everyone in the street that someone lives there who is different from the imprisoned, enslaved, standardised man who lives next door."

"There are no evils in Nature, there are only evils of Man."

"Everyone should be able to build, and as long as this freedom to build does not exist, the present-day planned architecture cannot be considered art at all."

"We must at last put a stop to having people move into their quarters like chickens and rabbits into their coops."

"Only when architect, bricklayer and tenant are a unity, or one and the same person, can we speak of architecture. Everything else is not architecture, but a criminal act which has taken on form."

"Pride of the Port Chester sports program, Tom: Hippie Olympics. Doesn't matter who wins 'cause they're all losers. You know, it's sad, really. This school used to be a bastion of rich, white elitism. And now... now they let homosexuals on the football team. Whining minorities run the student government. And you can't even coerce a woman into having sex with you without being brought up on charges."

"I scheme and plan for months and it gets screwed up because you can't control the students! Never send a woman to do a man's job!"

"Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to tall bitch! What is your fault? This is!"

"Shower scene...."

""A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!"

"I think that Bisexual Asian Studies should have its own building. The question is who goes? The math department or the hockey team? ... I think Hockey, call me about it."

"These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it . . . for about a week."

"What is this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy."

"We need kegs, multiple, cold and domestic."

"Well, you call those useless, yurt-toting, frisbee-chucking cheeba-monkeys and you tell them you're gonna be an hour late."

"You remember this guy? He skippered Hitler's catamaran during the war."

"Sanskrit. You're majoring in a 5,000 year old dead language."

"Call me for the shower scene in "Dressed To Kill"."

"Alright right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers?"

"Those aren't women, Tom. Those are womynists."

"Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV."

"I don't know if you're aware, but there actually was music recorded before 1989."

"You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit."

"Mmm. Warm, flat beer. Soggy chips. Think about that."

"Gutter is a tool!"

"Now we're even for the milkbones."

"You gotta make sure he gives you the bicentennial tour: 200 years of bull-shit."

"Are you just sitting around your dorm rooms playing cards and eating pizza? Is this the way you spent the majority of your four years in college? Would you like tonight to be different, you just don't have any place to go? Well, now you do! So turn off your radios and head on over. Tonight, at the Pit: Everyone Gets Laid."

"Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe man. Clinton is playing right here!"

"Just one hit, then I gotta go."

"I... I didn't exhale?"

"Funk, Gutter, funk! George Clinton, Parliament Funkadelic. Dude, aren't you a music major?"

"We're getting housed here, guys. I say we bring in Blotter."

"Have a bong hit!"

"Just one binger to brighten up your day"

"You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day. You installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps and, most recently, you dumped 100 pounds of meat on a peaceful vegan protest!"

"Afrocentrist: And the walls are painted white. And the chalk is white. And even the copy machine paper is white. This, my friend, is a white devil's conspiracy."

"Womynist: He's coming over here. Sisters, form a wall!"

"Old Woman: Excuse me. Can you blow me where the Pampers is?"

"Raji: Play Metallica and they will come."