"Pride of the Port Chester sports program, Tom: Hippie Olympics. Doesn't matter who wins 'cause they're all losers. Yo…"

"I scheme and plan for months and it gets screwed up because you can't control the students! Never send a woman to do …"

"Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to tall bitch! What is your fault? This is!"

"Shower scene...."

""A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN ST…"

"I think that Bisexual Asian Studies should have its own building. The question is who goes? The math department or th…"

"These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it . . . for about a week."

"What is this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see. Don't be that guy."

"We need kegs, multiple, cold and domestic."

"Pins and needles!"