All Quotes

"Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Larry the Lobster"

"Jill Talley as Karen"

"Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy"

"Greetings, JC Denton. I have been observing you through this fascinating device in your skull. You have found the proof we needed: the Dragon's Tooth sword, there inside the glass case. If you wish to be my ally, you will retrieve the sword and await my instructions."

"See how easily our technologies turn on us? The more power you think you have, the more quickly it slips from your grasp."

"You, like your brother, are an extraordinary piece of technology. I never pass up the chance to try a new blade, but I fear that at the crucial moment I may lift up my arm to strike and you will twist free of my grasp."

"JC, the net's going... the net's going black! JC! No more infolinks, transmissions of any kind. We'll start again...live in villages...if you receive this... if you survive... then find us! Find us!"

"Ah-ha, a trellis. You could climb onto the roof and avoid the security. Never depend upon weapons and high-tech when there is a simpler solution at hand."

"As long as technology has a global reach, someone will have the world in the palm of his hand. If not Bob Page, then Everett, Dowd..."

"Through with your testosterone fit? There's a pill for that, you know."

"Both the Illuminati and MJ-12 believe that the most intelligent or "enlightened" human being will inevitably gain power, ultimately seizing the eye in the pyramid and creating the world for everyone else. Kind of secularized version of Natural Law."

"Secrecy is a matter of life and death for the Illuminati."

"I was a stand-in for the world they never got to take over."

"Some conspiracy, huh? They couldn't even control little Nicolette."

"We are thinking the same thought."

"My new partner, JC Denton. Don't tell me you're going to wear those sunglasses during a night operation."

"I do not expect you to perform as well as Agent Hermann, but the mission will require us to do more than frighten the NSF with our baggy coats that make us look bigger than we really are."

"It was my error to believe that UNATCO's superweapon would appreciate a chance to prove himself."

"Pain is no longer something I can feel."

"All this blood has ruined my chrome."

"[after killing JC] Nine-hundred and ten. I am catching up, Gunther."

"You are not afraid to kill, I am pleased. The last thing I would expect from the brother of Paul."

"I have never had this much difficulty with a trainee in my life."

"I hope you remember this lesson, agent. They have assigned us to be partners, and I will not stop to hold your hand and repeat myself when we are facing a real enemy."

"The order hasn't so much lasted as been continually revived...It's the IDEA that has lasted. The SYSTEM. Or the DESIRE, every thinking person's desire to give the world some decent organization."

"In my opinion, the history of the human race has been one long succession of conspiracies. To deceive ourselves, we call the successful conspiracies "governments"."

"Don't underestimate the allure of a well kept secret. Our organisation lasted from the Crusades to the early 21st century, and our only secret was a technique of meditation, a way of imagining your body dissolving into light."

"All the way down, JC. Get to Page's compound and take him out. Everett and I will join you shortly. We'll bring back the old institutions, the prosperity of the last century, the giddy acquiescence. Trust us, JC. We can put the world back together."

"Just fixed Gunther's knee, in fact. A sticky actuator. So far I feel more like a mechanic than a doctor."

"Gunther went berserk after you escaped, smashed up the cell block pretty bad. I had to sedate him."

"At the sound of your voice, 400 milliamps will discharge into Gunther's midbrain. Poof!"

"If there's a conspiracy, it's at VersaLife; they're the ones making money off the plague."

"Door Girl: I order you to stand in the spotlight and growl at the women like a dog who needs a master."

"Connie Booth – Polly Sherman"

"Ballard Berkeley – Major Gowen"

"Brian Hall – Terry Hughes (second series only)"

"Renee Roberts – Miss Ursula Gatsby"

"Gilly Flower – Miss Agatha Tibbs"

"John Cleese – Basil Fawlty"

"Prunella Scales – Sybil Fawlty"

"Andrew Sachs – Manuel"

"It is in the humble opinion of this narrator that this is not just "something that happened." This cannot be "one of those things"... This, please, cannot be that. And for what I would like to say, I can't. This was not just a matter of chance. … These strange things happen all the time."

"We may be through with the past, but the past is never through with us."

"I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people."

"Let me tell you something, this is not an easy job. I get a call on the radio, dispatch, it's bad news. And it stinks. But this is my job and I love it. Because I want to do well. In this life and in this world, I want to do well. And I want to help people. And I might get twenty bad calls a day. But one time I can help someone and make a save, correct a wrong or right a situation, then I'm a happy cop. And as we move through this life we should try and do good. Do good... And if we can do that, and not hurt anyone else, well... then..."

"I lost my gun today when I left you and I'm the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know and it's on my mind. And it makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. And you asked that we should say things, that we should say what we're thinking and not lie about things. Well, I can tell you that, this, that I lost my gun today, and I am not a good cop. And I'm looked down at. And I know that. And I'm scared that once you find that out you may not like me."

"A lot of people think this is just a job that you go to... take a lunch hour, the job's over, something like that. But it's a 24-hour deal... no two ways about it... and what most people don't see is just how hard it is to do the right thing. People think if I make a judgment call, that it's a judgment on them. But that's not what I do, and that's not what should be done. I have to take everything and play it as it lays. Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail. And that's a very tricky thing on my part... making that call. The law is the law, and heck if I'm gonna break it. But if you can forgive someone... well, that's the tough part. What can we forgive? Tough part of the job. Tough part of walking down the street."

"I can't let this go. I can't let you go. Now, you... you listen to me now. You're a good person. You're a good and beautiful person and I won't let you walk out on me. And I won't let you say those things, those things about how stupid you are and this and that. I won't stand for that. You want to be with me... then you be with me. You see?"

"I loved her so. She knew what I did, she knew all the fucking stupid things I’d done. But the love was stronger of anything you can think of. The goddamn regret. THE GODDAMN REGRET! And I’ll die, now I’ll die and I’ll tell you what. The biggest regret of my life, I let my love go. What did I do? I’m sixty-five years old, and I’m ashamed. Million years ago, the fucking regret and guilt, these things... don’t ever let anyone ever say to you, you shouldn’t regret anything. Don’t do that, don't! You regret what you fucking want, use that, use that, use that regret for anything, any way you want, you can use it, OK? Oh, God. This is a long way to go with no punch. A little moral, story I say: Love...Love...Love. This fucking life, it’s so fucking hard. So long, Life ain’t short it’s long, it’s long. God damn it! God damn, what did I do? What did I do? What did I do?"

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