"McKinley, four lower campers are stuck in the ropes course. I meant to tell you about that yesterday, but could you g…"

"I love sluts! Sluts rock! It's just, you know, it's just gotta be the right slut, you know?"

"[to Katie] I want you inside me!"

"Wait, Katie! When we first started hanging out together this morning, we were just friends, but things change, and I'…"

"As everybody knows, this week is the big culminating, climactic game against evil Camp Tigerclaw. We have put togethe…"

"You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore."

"Oh, fuck my cock!"

"Before we start, I'd just like to say the campers you're about to see suck dick! But nevertheless, please welcome them."

"OK, stop! I feel like I'm watching regional theatre, you guys! God, am I in the Cleveland Playhouse or something? You…"

"Well, we've made it to the end of the summer in one piece, except for a few campers who are lepers."