"Here's 20 nicker, now go buy yourselves a nice big tin of sticky-sticky and fuck off back to Noddyland!"

"Adie, driving cars that don't belong to them, at 90 miles an hour, on the wrong side of the road, is just starting to…"

"This glue is for sticking my submarines, not for sticking up your fucking noses! Don't think I don't notice, cos I do…"

"You're an iffy copper that does a little bit a this, a little bit a that, but knows where to draw the thin blue line …"

"Rugby. Tom Jones. Male Voice Choirs. Shirley Bassey. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogch. Snow…"

"An extreme comedy."

"Welcome to ugly lovely town"

"Rhys Ifans - Jeremy Lewis"

"Huw Ceredig - Fatty Lewis"

"I built this club up from nothing, and I fucking loves it!"