"Here's the best case scenario: he's a lonely old man, he wants to waltz, he wants to listen to some of the old songs …"

"Singing was their hobby. Closing ass was their job."

"[about his massage chair] That is the best 2300 bucks I ever spent. I got it at a place called relaxtheback.com. It's…"

"Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level."

"[revealing his gun collection] Welcome to candyshop, motherfuckers!"

"Lock and load, bitches! Anything from outer space, kill it!"

"Fuckin' alien came on my face."

"You don't fuck with Bob! You show Bob respect. Bob's my special guy. That's right! That's right. That just happened. …"

"It's OK. Touch my goo, Bob!"

"You've been planning an alien invasion... in my Costco?"