"Brenda Song – Christy Lee"

"Rashida Jones – Marylin Delpy"

"Steve Sires – Bill Gates"

"A guy who makes a nice chair doesn't owe money to everyone who has ever built a chair."

"You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Face…"

"Erica Albright's a bitch. Do you think that's because her family changed their name from Albrecht, or do you think th…"

"A Stanford MBA named Roy Raymond wants to buy his wife some lingerie, but he's too embarrassed to shop for it at a de…"

"A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? A billion dollars."

"The internet isn't written in pencil, Mark. It's written in ink."

"Patrick Mapel as Chris Hughes"