"[Handing out execution orders] Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it... oh, and this one, kill him, take him…"

"[To Molotov, out of earshot] Goodbye, old friend. Goodbye forever."

"It smells like a Baku piss house in here."

"I thank the Union for bringing me so many devoted wives who fuck like sewing machines."

"[Standing over Stalin's unconscious body] Have a long sleep, old man. I'll take it from here."

"It's lucky we both now live in the new Soviet Union or you and your wife and your family would be a pile of dust on t…"

"Out of my way, you fannies!"

"[to Khruschev, jogging through the woods] How can you run and plot at the same time?"

"I've had nightmares that made more sense than this."

"I hate being sober. It's a terrible, terrible mood to be in."