The Death of Stalin

"[Handing out execution orders] Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it... oh, and this one, kill him, take him to his church and dump him in the pulpit... The rest I leave up to you."

"[To Molotov, out of earshot] Goodbye, old friend. Goodbye forever."

"It smells like a Baku piss house in here."

"I thank the Union for bringing me so many devoted wives who fuck like sewing machines."

"[Standing over Stalin's unconscious body] Have a long sleep, old man. I'll take it from here."

"It's lucky we both now live in the new Soviet Union or you and your wife and your family would be a pile of dust on the floor of a crematorium toilet."

"Out of my way, you fannies!"

"[to Khruschev, jogging through the woods] How can you run and plot at the same time?"

"I've had nightmares that made more sense than this."

"[seeing the Orthodox bishops at Stalin's funeral] I thought we'd banned those freaks."

"Who's going to carry the can for this farago of shit?"

"We were talking about Stalingrad, how cold it was, and we would do anything, anything, to warm ourselves up. We would throw live grenades to each other. Pull the pin, throw it to the prisoners. They'd be jumping around like drunken whores."

"When you go home, make sure your wife writes down everything you think you said tonight. Alright? This way, in the morning you know what you're dealing with. It's Krushchev's law."

"[sobbing over Stalin's body] He's on the floor! He's on the fucking floor!"

"If he recovers, then we got a good doctor. If he doesn't recover, then we didn't. But, he won't know."

"I'm the peacemaker and I’ll fuck over anyone who gets in my way."

"[to Beria's burning corpse] I will bury you in history! You hear me, you fat fucker? You smell like rendered horse, you burning asshole..."

"Could you do me a favor and nod as I'm speaking to you? People are looking to me for reassurance and I have no idea what's going on."

"I've always been loyal to Stalin, always. These arrests were authorized by Stalin...but Stalin was also loyal to the collective leadership, and that is true loyalty...however, he also had an iron will, undeviating, strong. Could we not do the same, and stick to what we believed in?...No. It is stronger still to forge our own beliefs within the beliefs of the collective leadership...which I have now...done."

"[to his dog] Uncle Nicky's going to be dead if he doesn't get a move on, isn't he? Yes, he is!"

"Time for a cowboy movie. Who's in my posse?"

"What took you so long, you fucking walk here?"

"My father's going to die. I'm going to have you to look after me. I mean, I may as well just shoot myself like Mother."

"I hate being sober. It's a terrible, terrible mood to be in."

"[drunk] Foreigners, a vile crime has been perpetrated! Hairy monsters in coats have scooped out my father's brain and sent it to America! And these traitors, sucking the cocks and balls - sucking the cocks and balls - of Zionist... New York... New York Zionist queers in petticoats. Look at them. You see? Those brain thieves!"

"Right, what's a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?"

"I'm off to represent the entire Red Army at the buffet. You girls enjoy yourselves."

"Tell me something. Why has the Army been replaced by the NKVD all over Moscow? I mean, I'm smiling, but I am very fucking furious."

"A modern soldier's greatest fear? It's not death, it's not starvation, it's chafing!"

"Andreyev: Don't worry, nobody's gonna get killed, I promise you. This is just a musical emergency!"

"Simon Russell Beale - Lavrentiy Beria, Minister of the Interior"

"Steve Buscemi - Nikita Khrushchev, Head of the Moscow Communist Party"

"Paul Chahidi - Nikolai Bulganin, Minister of Defense"

"Paddy Considine - Andreyev (Conductor)"

"Dermot Crowley - Lazar Kaganovich, Minister of Trade"

"Rupert Friend - Vasily Stalin, Major General in the Soviet Air Force"

"Jason Isaacs - Georgy Zhukov, Marshal of the Soviet Union"

"Olga Kurylenko - Maria Veniaminovna Yudina (Pianist)"

"Adrian McLoughlin - Joseph Stalin, General Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party"

"Michael Palin - Vyacheslav Molotov, Minister of Foreign Affairs"

"Andrea Riseborough - Svetlana Stalina"

"Jeffrey Tambor - Georgy Malenkov, Deputy General Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party"

"Paul Whitehouse - Anastas Mikoyan, Minister of Labor"

"The Thick of It"